The Color of Sacrifice
by InoSakuShine
Summary: Sakura lies to Tsunade to accept a mission with Kakashi in which she must give up something precious. When Kakashi discovers her lie, they become tangled in a mission that constantly blurs the student/sensei boundaries.  KakaSaku
1. Chapter 1

**Summary is the same as what caused you to click this link.**

Hi. I've been searching for some good KakaSaku, and I can't find anything that appeals to me here. I wanted something not AU, and as in-character as it could be. So, I decided to write one for myself. I wasn't originally going to post it here, but I wanted some feedback.

Important: Since I've been browsing quite a few Kakasakus, you might inherently find some similar material here. A lot of the fics have common threads or plots, but I'll be honest that I got the original idea for this from another fic. However, it diverges completely and it's totally my own.

So, enjoy! Long live KakaSaku!

**xo**

* * *

><p><strong>The Color of Sacrifice<strong>

**Chapter 1: To Give Up What's Left**

The people who filled the Hokage's Office clued Sakura in to the real reason Tsunade had summoned her. Kakashi stood to her right, and Shizune hovered behind the figure who commanded them here. Two ANBU were stationed by the door.

Her heart leapt.

_A mission!_ the light haired girl thought. These days, Sakura would eagerly devour any opportunity she could for a high ranked mission. It wasn't because she loved the thrill of it, as Tsunade began to suspect. The girl wanted every mission she could undertake to prepare and prove herself suitable for the Jonin Exams and eventually, the ANBU trials. Preparatory A ranked missions were definitely in order.

Sakura watched as her teacher scanned the scrolls in front of her with a grim look daunting her eyes. Her shoulders sunk, and she raised her gaze to address the kunoichi she called on.

"This is an unusual mission. It's highly dangerous and risky, but I know you've been sinking your teeth into anything you can find. It makes me wonder…"

"Whatever it is, Hokage-sama, I will take it," Sakura replied evenly. She felt her former Sensei's still presence beside her. No doubt Kakashi was wondering about it, too. He remained mute, letting Sakura exude all the enthusiasm herself.

Tsunade sighed gruffly. "I want you to be prepared for the tasks you'll face as a Jonin, granted you pass your test." Sakura winced at the word choice, wishing that Tsunade could display a little more confidence when talking about her pupil's future plans. She could certainly use the supplementary confidence. Tsunade resumed. "You also said you were going on the ANBU track. Well, there are some prerequisites that this mission requires. You're checked off for most, but I have to ask you something else."

"What is it?" The innocent determination in her voice made the question even easier to ask.

"Are you a virgin?"

_Really? _Sakura's spirit plunged head first into the abyss of embarrassment and indignity. Outwardly, she managed to keep her composure. It didn't help that a Sensei who had known her since she was 12 was standing right next to her, pretending not to listen. Apparently, she was taking too long to respond.

"Well? This is crucial to your eligibility for the mission," Tsunade said shortly. Behind her, Shizune suspected that she enjoyed making Sakura uncomfortable.

"Um… M'lady, how does this determine my—" Tsunade slammed a fist on the table. Her impatience was triggered by Sakura's ability to beat around the bush. If the girl couldn't understand that this sensitive information was business only, then was she ready for this mission? Sakura flinched, but wasn't put off. She knew her master's temper well.

Tsunade began to take Sakura's silence for an answer.

"Nevermind, Sakura—"

"No!"

The hasty answer shot from Sakura's dry mouth. "No, Hokage-sama… I'm eligible." A satisfied smile played on the blonde woman's lips at the newly revealed information. Sakura could hardly suppress the pink blush from entering her cheeks. She didn't even want to glance at Kakashi.

He would just pretend not to have heard. But damn it, he heard.

"_Well_… Then this mission, unfortunately, is yours." Embarrassment was erased from her thoughts. Her ears sharpened. She heard a sigh, tinged with something like defeat, escape from her superior . "You will be traveling to the Land of Iron to investigate the theft of an allegedly stolen scroll. This mission is about stealth, not force. The scroll suspected stolen contains highly classified information about justsus developed in this village. The thief is a highly powerful shinobi who favors money and sin more than the political power he obtained through insidious methods and abuse.

He also has a very… A inclination towards young women. Mostly teenage girls. Sakura, you will play the part in order to retrieve information. You will be a distraction. I'm asking you to do this for the mission, but I do not expect you to fight this man. If that happens, it will be a dead giveaway. And trust me, you won't be able to handle him."

If the implications weren't enough, Sakura wanted to reiterate just exactly what Tsunade was asking from her.

"So… You want me to seduce him?" The words sounded strange in her mouth.

"Seduce him? It will go farther than that. Kunoichi's have a powerful tool at their disposal, and sometimes must use their resources in the highest ranked missions. Use your body as a weapon. Think of it as a rite of passage, of sorts."

_How the hell could she say that so nonchalantly? _The youngest in the room ground her teeth. She closed her eyes in thought, but the words floated on.

"That's why I'm also assigning Kakashi to the team. The two of you seem to have already established a strong sense of teamwork, and with just two of you, you can be less conspicuous. Kakashi can also protect you in the event that—"

Those words were the trigger.

_Protect her?_ Those were exactly the words that made Sakura's knuckles turn white with tension. Those were the words that made her take up so many dangerous missions like they were afterschool hobbies. After all of this time, no matter how much she tried to prove herself, someone still thought she needed _protection._

That's what her own master thought, and that stung. The feeling of weakness resounded inside her, eating her own insecurities. It wasn't enough that she could reduce whole buildings to rubble with one punch. She was still the weakest link.

She wanted the approval of her master, Tsuande. She wanted the pride of her Sensei, who had taught her to be strong in the first place, despite seeing her weakness.

Sakura could say nothing. She obviously couldn't refuse the help—Kakashi-Sensei was a good addition to her team. But, the feeling of being betrayed crept up the back of her neck.

"Kakashi, do you accept?" Tsunade asked, seeming to be casual.

"Yes, M'lady."

Sakura stiffened, posed with a duality of emotion. On the one hand, relief flooded her when Kakashi accepted, though there was no doubt that he would. He had always served as an over-arching reassurance, a—her least favorite word—_protector. _On the other hand, there was an astute bitterness. Not only was Tsunade trying to hand away the rights to her body, but she was forcing her Sensei to supervise the humiliation.

"You will depart tomorrow. Make necessary preparations. I'm giving you a scroll with top secret topographic information on the area and the man you'll be dealing with." She thumped a scroll into Kakashi's hand. "Dismissed."

They bowed. Sakura exited the office with a sinking feeling in her stomach. Already her thoughts plunged into the worst case scenarios of the situation. It hurt to know that the worst case scenario was, in fact, the planned scenario.

Her virginity was at the mercy of the enemy. Yes, the virginity that she told Tsunade didn't exist was, in fact, still intact. It _completely_ existed. Just where in the span on numerous missions and medic training did she have time to do anything like that?

"Sakura," a voice said beside her. She completely forgot that Kakashi was trailing her. She didn't halt, but slowed her pace and let a tilt of her head signal that she was listening. The last thing she wanted to do was discuss the details of this mission with her Sensei. He handed her the scroll. "I suggest that you study this well."

She took it sourly, and turned her face straight ahead, so he didn't have the chance to glimpse her expression. She hated herself for feeling so bitter. Tsunade was a right, a mission was a mission. As a kunoichi, this was her duty! Unfortunately, her determination in staring straight ahead would not deflect Kakashi's words.

"Sakura, are you positive you want to accept this mission?" He asked lightly.

"Yes," she said quietly.

"This is a serious question, so answer me seriously." His tone was so suddenly harsh that she stopped to look quizzically at him. The look in his eye matched his voice. There was that familiar man with the silver hair splaying over a headband that covered one eye, while the other fixated on her. He towered over her, looking down at her. She felt like a child next him, but the flames in her chest would prove him wrong.

"Why are you questioning my acceptance of this mission, Kakashi-Sensei?" she challenged him back. She stared back at him with green, resilient eyes. She expected a battle of wills, and eventually to shy away from his indifferent nature. She was surprised when the rigidity melted away on his face.

"Well, I thought that would be obvious…" Sakura watched him scratch the back of his head, and look at her wearily. "You _were _a student of mine—"

"Kaka-Sensei, I still am!" Team 7 floated into her mind, accompanied by a refusal of abandon the image. He blinked.

"Let's just say I've grown rather fond of the color of your hair."

"What?" He smiled through his mask, his eyes crinkling in that familiar way. He "poofed" away at this point, leaving her to furiously decipher the meaning of that line. She never knew him to be indirect.

* * *

><p><strong>End of Chpt. 1<strong>

What do you think so far? Reviews encourage more chapters!

xo


	2. Chapter 2

Hi guys! Just wanted to hit you with another update so you can get a better sense of whether this is for you or not. A few things I'd like to address:

**Someone hit the nail on the head: **Duty Before Honor, that was it! It's where I got the idea, so that's where you might see some similar plot overlap. I give that fic credit. But if you've read it, know that mine will be completely different in the long run, definitely not that intense! Mine will be much more pG13 and more... believable?

**About the rating: **I slapped down a "T" because I'm not sure about mature the content will be. Sure there's mature themes, but there will definitely be no straight-out smut. Innuendo? A shy glimpse of smut? Well, we'll see. I'll change the rating if need be, but I see fair weather ahead...

On to the next one, on to the next one...

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

**The Distance Needed and the Distance Desired**

She missed her mother's voice.

Despite that it feel nice to be alone, here. Sakura sat at her couch with her head down, staring between her knees. The setting around her was void of people and homey knicknacks. Once she began taking more serious missions, Sakura opted to temporarily move out of her house. There was simply not enough space for her scrolls and weapons and medicinal ingredients. So, she left the nest—for now.

Pictures of friends and family were replaced with the cold metal of kunais and shuriken.

These thoughts were regressive, but it had been a while since Sakura was actually nervous about a mission.

She also missed Naruto's voice, but she was also glad he left for more training. This situation was something that not many could offer solace for, even that blonde haired ball of energy. She knew it would come: the day, the mission where she would have to give _all _of herself.

If this was what it took to become strong—

"Yo," she heard a light voice call out, accompanied by a few raps on her windowsill. Her head snapped to the source of the noise as her body jerked in a startled jump.

"Kakashi!" she exclaimed, startled at his presence.

"-Sensei," she added, after the shock left.

She got up hurriedly, smoothing out her skirt and opened the window skeptically.

"Sakura," he greeted, one eye arched in a crinkled smile. "Uh—Sorry if I'm interrupting. But we need to talk about something." The suggestive words hit her and she recoiled, taking a few seconds to recover from the fear of what he might say after. Nevertheless, the pinkette beckoned him in, never doubting his decision to enter through the window instead of the door. It wasn't really her Sensei's style.

"It's about this mission," Sakura guessed gravely, leading him to her small common area. She wished he hadn't arrived so unexpectedly—the place could use some cleaning. Medical documents and case studies lay strewn on the table and floor, creating their own papery carpet. The door of the refrigerator hung open, spreading a chill. She hoped it wasn't too obvious that her current career was turning her into a mindlessly absorbed zombie.

Kakashi's eyes didn't stray. "Yes," he acknowledged. She sat down. The jounin took her cue and followed suit.

A pause. Sakura was confused, uncomfortable to stir in this thick silence.

"I looked over the mission details," he said at last. There was something not being said between them that took the form of a lump in Sakura's throat. She didn't want to speak the words that would betra the feeling that shinobis weren't supposed to feel. She didn't want him to confirm her anxieties.

"Yes. Our enemy, Rikchi Zo. If you did any more research, you would see that he's in the bingo book."

"He's incredible," she said. The expression on Kakashi's face, from what she could see above his masked features, was serious. It made her feel a little powerful to know that they were nearly equals in this. The two had never entered a mission together, exclusively.

"I wanted to go over the plan. With an enemy like Zo, no mistake can be made."

Sakura swallowed hard.

She knew he would say that, and mean it, but it was the jounin's mistake for making her more assured that she should be. From the time Sakura made Genin with the other members of her team, Kakashi had offered them reassurances and a sense of safety matched with powerful actions. In the many life and death scenarios that stained her life with real battle experience, Kakashi was always there to protect them and defeat the bad guy. He always recovered in the hospital. He always kept him promises, except for that one time.

It was up to her to break out of that false sense of security, now.

The pair went over the mission. And to her relief, the briefing on exactly how she would get close to Zo was mostly excluded. The only part fully emphasized stressed that it would be up to her to infiltrate his headquarters to find the scroll.

_How_ was assumed to be understood.

* * *

><p>Her veins were boiling. <em>Oh<em>, he had better leave before she shattered his entire body with a closed fist! The woman would never have expected to hear that form this man. No, not _this_ silver haired man.

"Kakashi…" Tsunade clenched her fist. A smirk almost pulled at the corner of her lips, but she wouldn't let him see it. One part of this was actually a bit touching, but the threat of standing against her orders was no laughing matter. He did not want to challenge her. "Don't ever come in here and question my order again."

She was staring at his feet when she said this. Poised at ever, he didn't move. She heard his voice reach out.

"Forgive me, M'Lady." She sighed. Why did it have to be like this? Like she needed a guilt trip for the impetuous decision she had to make.

"Forgive me, Kakashi. I don't like it any more than you."

* * *

><p>There were two things that had Sakura feeling like a kid again. One was the view of Konoha from this rooftop as she prepared to leave it behind. She could see it all from here! The bridge where Team 7 used to meet. Her house. The carved mountains she had known her whole life. The Academy she used to excel at as if grades on a piece of paper mattered.<p>

She smiled and the wind whipped pink hair in her face.

The second momento was not the feeling of nostalgia, but of nervousness. Clinging on to such memories was the last thing that should preoccupy her mind now, as she was promptly reminded when a certain, tall man landed beside her.

Kakashi was late. Sakura bit her tongue. Images of helpess gannies, dangling cats, and wounded puppies fluttered across her mind.

"Ready?" Kakashi asked lightly. She looked up at the Jonin she whose title she aspired to snatch for herself. He was smiling. Sakura's stomach eased.

* * *

><p>It was brutal. How the hell could she keep up with this guy at the pace he was tearing through these trees? Sakura refused to retreat and to stare at the back of his stupid head. Throw away her legs, throw away her dignity! All in a day's mission, right?<p>

Or in this case, fourteen days.

"Hm?" As if just now noticing the break neck speed he was setting, Kakashi slowed hid pace. He hadn't been thinking about the physcial toll the speed would cost his teammate, but he _was _thinking about plently of other thing. The absence of protest just meant she was too proud to tell him to slow down.

"Kakashi-Sensei?" That title always struck him. Peculiarly enough, although she graduated to Chunin, Sakura insisted on adding "Sensei" to his name. Why? Who knows, the small addition might be a token of respect, or an unwillingness to let go of a distant pass, he noted warily. Either way he wouldn't really admit that he grew fond of it. Ambling to a stop, they dropped to the forest floor.

"How about a break? Sorry about that, I guess I got carried away." Sakura nodded, making an exasperated face behind his back. If he didn't snap into his sense, she might carry herself away and save them both the exhaustion of a mission like this!

As Sakura begrudgingly sorted through her supplies to make sure everything was in order, her mind wandered back to the cruder part of the mission. Unbeknownst to her, Kakashi's own thoughts, the same thoughts that fueled his break-neck, aggressive speed, were a mirror to her own. The difference lied in coping mechanisms, for she didn't have a distraction. From the corner of her eye, a familiar red book flashed iin Kakashi's corner.

She groaned inwardly. Sakura had to admit to herself. She knew nothing practical about how she would carry out her end of the mission. That was because she knew nothing about… sex. Nothing beyond the birds and the bees. No experience. No nothing.

"So, Sakura…" that ambiguous voice didn't make her jump, but it did make her shiver. She never knew what would follow her calling. She turned to Kakashi innocently, praying to the gods that the Sharigan couldn't read thoughts like it read movements. "Do you think you're prepared for your part of the mission? Do you have a plan?"

The power of that Sharigan was magnificent, indeed. _Make me feel worse! _she lamented sarcastically.

"It's imperative that everything is executed flawlessly. I can't remember how much I ever taught you about deception, but the stakes are nothing small. If you're suspected to be a fake, you're dead." The casual words floated from a concealed mouth behind a red book

The hairs were officially standing on the back of her neck. So apparently, if Zo could tell she was a fake… a novice? New? It was over?

Sakura clenched her fist. If Kakashi's goal was to fire her up, and make her motivated to think everything through, he may have suceeded in an unexpected wat. The girl finalized her resolve: She needed to learn how to have sex and be good at it. Her eyes lingered to that forbidden, infamous red book as she assigned herself mini mission.

_Get that book._

* * *

><p>Hours later, the two manwoman squad decided to crash under the protective cover of darkness. With nothing but the starry sky and wilderness, nostalgia hit Sakura like Tsunade's fist. It was like old times, and she took a moment to sank in that wonderful feeling. Even if half the pieces were missing, at least she had one beside her to make her remember that the set still existed.

Kakashi uttered good night before slipping his headband over both his eyes like a night mask. A small smile slid off of her face and she cocked her head, wondering about him. How could that man who was so familiar, the remaining piece, also strike her as a stranger sometimes? Between them existed this distance that Sakura swore had not existed before.

She wondered this as she waited patiently for the mysterious Jounin to fall asleep. His breathing pattern would soon reveal whether or not he was really unconscious—something she could sense as a trained medic. It hardly surprised her that it took nearly two hours for the Copy Nin to be taken down by the Sand Man (the only man he allowed to knock him out). A ninja was always on guard, even when it was another's responsibility.

_I can be on watch and do a bit of light reading. For the sake of the mission, _Sakura thought slyly, using her practiced stealth to gain proximity to her sleeping teacher. When she was close… _really_ close, she stretched out a hand to reach his pouch, where Icha Icha was stuffed. Being this close… she could listen to his breath and hear his human-ness. Her eyes tore down the infallible layer that made Kakashi super-human, until she realized that regular humans wake up when they sensed someone hovering over them.

She took Icha Icha Paradise, as the cover so blatantly spelled, and ran with it. The book was hers.

After she put a considerable amount of physical distance from herself and Kakashi, she gloated over the small victory. This treasure trouve of perverted knowledge was all hers! The smutty book rested in her hands. Even if it wasn't a how-to, maybe it would give her some lustful insight on how to seduce even the toughest of criminals…

Yep. Because that's what she needed. Powers of killer seduction and the bedroom savy stunts to match; _what a disgrace_. Fighting back the feeling of betrayal from Lady Tsunade, she decided to begin with page one. Tentatively her finger edged itself into the front cover, and pulled. Her mind itched to know what kind of books Kakashi read in his spare time.

"Hmm, Sakura?"

Stifling a squeak, the kunoichi wedged the book underneath her and sat still. She felt Kakashi approach.

"You can go on and get some rest. I'll keep watch now." She was stiff as a board, trying to cover the book.

"Are you sure?" she asked. Even though darkness fell upon them, she could imagine her Sensei's nonchalant expression. She managed to slip the thing behind a fold of her skirt and walk off casually, as if she weren't just trying to read pornographic literature to educate herself on sexual experience.

Placing it back where she found it, sleep was the next course of action. If only the sand man could capture her.

* * *

><p>They had been traveling in the early hours of the morning by road, and by now the sun told them that time was crawling towards the evening. An orange blush flooded the sky with it's soft embrass, tainting the blueness that still haunted it's outer edge. It was all visible from the road below.<p>

The decision to travel by road was prompted by proximity: the closer they got to the territory, the less suspicious they needed to appear. The duo continued steadily to their destination, in a pressing silence that Sakura sometimes detested. She needed something like Naruto's banter to take her mind off of things. She didn't like the barrier infiltrating the space between them.

To top off the list of things she disliked: the nightmare she had last night.

"Kakashi-Sensei, can we take a short break?" she asked. He nodded without question, undoubtedly a bit fatigued from the night before. He let Sakura sleep the night through without waking her while he kept guard, causing her to feel guilty and him to feel weary. He ambled over to a shaded tree in the nearby clearing, collapsing against it like a lean scare crow. To Sakura's dismay, Kakashi pulled out Icha Icha and slid it over his face.

She couldn't tell if he was resting or drifting into sleep.

_Damn it._

She _needed _to read that book before it really became too late. While she ruminated, a barely audible sound was coming from the tree.

Sakura twitched.

Kakashi was _snoring_. She nearly giggled. If she stepped softly to the tree, she could slide around behind him with no problem. She extended an arm forward when in position. Usually the kunoichi would never dream of being so reckless, but she felt confident in the fact that Kakashi was _knocked _out. His snoring and breathing pattern told her so. Her medic senses were tingling.

She gently, gently removed the book from his face, taking a second to gaze at the sleeping Kakashi. Something about his concealed face was so calming in the midst of this calamity. An expression that resembled peace rested on his unconscious feature... She was jealous of that peaceful sleep. She tore her green irises away and stole her body from the shade of the tree.

The book was finally hers. She flopped down across the way to a neighboring patch of cherry blossom trees that weren't quite in bloom yet. The setting sun gave the tree a rosy orange color, and provided enough light for Sakura to read the book this time.

Page one, two, three and four were quickly scanned by her narrowed eyes. So far, just a bunch of sappy romance and drama. It wasn't until page fifteen that her hands began to perspire and her heart began to race.

Why was her heart beating faster? Things certainly became more… detailed. And graphic. And the book was earning it's dirty reputation.

Soon, her cheeks matched the surrounding blossoms of the tall tree. Absorbed in the book, she allowed herself to delve into the nature of the reading. Did _it_ start by—

"Sakura…" she heard her name called in a low tone.

Said girl froze. Horror couldn't begin to describe what she felt as she heard her Sensei behind her. "It's time to move on." She turned around to face him, lowering her hands with the book. Kakashi hadn't seen the book right away, but none of that mattered. The look she tried to wipe off of her face was too imminent.

One eye under a lazy, half closed lid fell on top of the book. It was a quiet moment for both of them.

"Uh… Sakura." He scratched the back of his head while she tried her best to preserve her dignity. If she possessed more ninjutsu knowledge, it would be no big deal; she couldn't simply form the appropriate hand seals and sink into the ground, disappearing completely. Unfortunately, she didn't know the ninjustu or know enough to listen for her Sensei's footsteps when he approached.

"If you wanted to borrow it, you could have just asked."

Let the moment pass.

There was a smile in his eyes, but Sakura's blush was so furious that she suspected he was trying to save her the embarrassment. Quickly returned to the rightful owner, Icha Icha was stuffed in Kakashi's pocket.

"There's a book club in Konoha if—"

"Well! Time to go!"

He wasn't going to let her live this down, was he? It was if suddenly, the more friendly and familiar nature returned to the laid back Kakashi she remembered. He wasn't always that way, but when the team disbanded he had always been light in spirits with her. The catch was now, the jokes were at her expense. She could count on those playful jabs stinging her pride instead of the silence she now sourly missed. And the Copy Nin found it amusing.

Why?

Every time she locked eyes with him, even for the briefest moment, embarrassment flooded her. It was plenty enough to think that Kakashi-Sensei read those perverted books, but now it only appeared to be the other way around. If the Copy Nin felt the same way, he hid it with indifference.

She distance she before hated became the distance she desired.

* * *

><p><strong>Welllll?<strong> I know it's a bit slow, but the plot accelerates next chapter. Please, please give me feedback. Constructive or anything.

xo


	3. Chapter 3

**We're back!**

I'm going to admit that I'm very disappointed and discouraged by the lack of reviews. This is only because the second chapter only garnered ONE additional review, but in the beginning I had five. What happened to you guys that were reading before! And yes, I've seen you add this to your story-alerts, so I know you're reading! Please review, it's very discouraging. If you don't I'll just assume this is so awful that no one wants me to continue.

**Feeback**... please... I'm starving.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

**Experience Lost  
><strong>

It wasn't until Sakura started a fire and began to cook did Sakura and Kakashi finally convene since the incident. Kakashi couldn't pull away from the alluring smell of food, and the cover of darkness would allow him to eat without concern for keeping secrets beneath masks.

The fire crackled dolefully between them, set very low as to not be detected. Warm air circumvented the sight, characteristic of the spring season. It felt calm. Or to Sakura, the calm before the storm she was preparing to unleash.

To face the facts, Sakura thought, this mission was purely _business_. Kakashi and herself both knew that. So then why did she drown in awkwardness, so ashamed? Why did anxiety fill the pit of her stomach and fog her mind like a strong genjutsu?

Sakura knew she would not be able to sleep well tonight.

"Sensei… Can I borrow—"

"So you decided to ask this time?"

"Sensei!" The insensitivity stung her pride. His jokes were cruel to her, but she would face him head first with a strong demeanor anyways. She banished shame from her cheeks. "I was going to ask to borrow some ganja pills for sleeping." He mumbled something that sounded skeptical to her ears.

Fire reared in her chest. It was just Sakura and Kakashi, and she placed in faith in the fragmented team.

"K-Kakashi Sensei, I'm not a pervert. There's a reason I needed to read the book…" She hardly believed the words were tumbling out of her mouth, and half-heartedly willed them to retract back in. It was too late.

She looked at the ground, unable to continue to read his facial expression because of the darkness. Still the kunoichi could tell by the position of his fire-lighted feet that he was hunched over, listening.

"Um… well…"

"It doesn't matter. I won't mention it again," the silver haired man assured her, dismissing the topic in its entirety with a raised hand. "What's important is focusing on the mission." Sakura sighed a little, still gazing at the patch of dirt between her feet.

"What if something goes wrong?" she said quietly. She didn't feel the older man's eyes rest on her.

"Sakura… You've come a long way from… Well, I'm fully confident in your abilities. You have the stealth of a true kunoichi and from what I've seen, some awesome power." When the words hit, the young woman stiffened.

Something welled inside her, like joyous tears and relief. How long had she waited to hear that from someone? Not just someone, but anyone who knew who Sakura truly really was. This power dormant inside her, she could embody it now. She completed mission after mission to show them this! And now, with one frugal, pathetic excuse of a mission, everything was being tore down.

This one showed her weakness, and she hated it.

"What if he sees right through me?" she demanded. Amidst her own conflict, she sensed a shift in composure from the man. Her_ Sensei_. Her mentor. Her teammate. Her silver haired Kakashi Hatake. What other neutral words would he offer, she wondered vaguely.

"I don't like this mission, either."

"I'm a virgin."

She looked up and said it to his face, so he knew it was true. That took the most strength of all.

"_What?" _He was scrutinizing her, looking genuinely shocked. Sakura was taken aback by the intensity of his reaction. "Why did you lie?"

"You know what's going to happen, don't you?" The accusation was armed with an icy tone.

Sakura faced him defensively, but found no convincing explanation to defend herself. She did know the consequences; she just hadn't predicted it would shake her this much when the time came to it. What shook her now was how angry Kakashi looked. She tried to duck beneath the accusations and questions being jabbed at her.

"Sakura. What experience _have_ you had?"

"Kaka-!"

"Now it's time for the truth. It's a little hard to believe—"

"Believe _what_?" The shadow of Tsunade's infamous rage gleamed I her eyes. He was going too far.

Maybe Kakashi had been around during those Genin days, but when Team 7 split apart, how often did he show his masked face to her? How could he possibly be aware of the sacrifices she had been making to become strong? Her medic skills slowly became the most superior in Konoha aside from the Hokage herself.

"Exactly when would I have time to do… _that_? I've been training at every moment! Every moment that Naruto has! Sorry if I was busy becoming useful!" she spat bitterly.

"You could have taken another mission. Instead someone like Ino could have—"

_Jeesh, am I ever going to match up_?

"I didn't know I wasn't strong enough for this mission because I have my virginity intact! I guess that what a kunoichi's strength is measured by these days." She wanted to sting him with all her venom, and by now it seemed like she was finally piercing through.

To her satisfaction, Kakashi slightly recoiled.

"You are a worthy and strong young kunoichi. It's not about that," he said coldly. She fumed, and he settled back on the rock before the fire, planting a hand on his covered forehead. She knew he was thinking about how her lie jeopardized the mission, and maybe his disappointment in her.

In reality, there was another wonder pushing itself to the front of his mind, and out of his lips.

"Okay. What experience _do _you have?" Sakura flushed, and he ignored her blush. She was reminded of Tsunade's original probing question about her virginity. Well, it was all business anyways.

"I… I… "

"Relative to the mission—"

"I know. I haven't had _any _sexual experience, Sensei. None that will help with this mission." She heard a small sound escape his lips, and tried to decipher it. If she wasn't mistaken, it contrasted completely from his previous tone of severity and sounded amused.

_ What the hell is so funny, Kakashi?_

"You're sure?" he asked. "There's no reason to lie around me—"

Appalled was an understatement as Sakura wondered just what _did _her Sensei think of her.

"Wait a minute! Why would I lie about… about this?"

"Well, maybe you don't want me to think a certain way about you. But Sakura, I can promise you my views won't change—"

"No, that's not it! Honestly, I just have been really busy, okay?"

Whatever she said, Kakashi couldn't help but be a little surprised. Guys chased after a girl like Sakura, he knew from eye witness accounts. Interestingly enough, she shunned them and managed to narrow her focus solely on her ninja career. If that didn't make her more admirable, then her new, grown up appearance certainly did.

"This guy is expecting a perfect call girl, according to mission, and I don't want him to see right through me," she said. It was her final plea of understanding.

"Okay." He stood up, flecks of orange light dancing on the lower half of his body emitted from the fire. He rummaged through a pouch and withdrew a familiar red book. He extended it towards the pink haired girl, who leaned forward and took it gingerly.

"You can borrow this," he said lightly. He sighed and left the site, leaving her to her own thoughts.

Sakura wished he stayed.

* * *

><p>It became apparent to Sakura after devouring half of Icha Icha Paradise that sex was an art. This book was definitely not a <em>how-to. <em>It was a fantastical story that clued her in mostly to the fact that her former Sensei was more human than she thought. He was a bit of a perv. Even a bit of a romantic, eh?

The fact remained, however, that she still had no idea of how she would pull off this mission. Sakura tried not to drag her feet as the pair continued on-this time on a main road- near a town to stock up on provisions, review the mission, and rest.

Townies began to pass by: travellers and farmers, drawing along in wagons stockpiled with food. The road still wasn't quite as busy as her mind, but it certainly produced more noise than the tall man behind her.

_Why, why didn't I ask Ino for help? _Ino—her rival and best friend, also would have been her substitute on this mission. She could hear her blonde friend's high pitched voice of the past, talking about her sexual conquests. There weren't too many, but Ino assured her that the quality made up for it.

Back then, Sakura covered her ears and didn't hang on to those narratives too tightly. If anyone could give her a little sex-ed, it would have been Ino. What options did she have now—

Sakura froze. Eventually the silver haired man passed before her. She shivered.

_Kakashi?_

Kakashi was the only one left, the only one here. He was an adult who would no doubt…

_No, I can't! I won't think about Kakashi-Sensei's sexual—!_

"Sakura, we're almost here." She blinked, staggered forward, and joined his side. They fed themselves into the mouth of the village.

* * *

><p>Eh? Eh? Review!<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey all! Good news (I think).**

I have made a personal resolve to really **re-vamp** my writing. I don't know what it is, maybe lack of practice, but I feel like I lost "it". My previous writing used to be much, much stronger and more interesting to read. Whatever the circumstance, you can expect better from me! It won't be perfect, but I'm back on track to my old self! This is for you!

We'll see how it goes, give it time :)

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

**Comfort**

The pair of Leaf village nin were to spend a few days in this village in order to gather intel. Intel was needed to know where to find Zol, and how to get in contact with him. For that feat, Kakashi announced his intentions to take a job with one of his men, offering up Sakura as compensation and a bribe.

"An accessory," the pinkette confirmed, throwing her pouches and things onto the neat floor of the Inn.

"A dangerous one," Kakashi replied too kindly. Sakura shrugged complacently; as long as they remained here, there was a roof over their heads and decent food. In fact, they were particularly lucky to stumble upon this lodging.

A kind old woman afforded the self-proclaimed "tired travellers homebound to from a construction job" the only vacant room left in her homey Inn. At first, she was skeptical of the unlikely pair—the tall man hid his face, although even she could tell he was handsome. The pink haired girl looked lovely, but young. She wondered why they travelled together.

Their perceived age certainly wasn't wide enough to make them father-daughter, and she was positive from the grey and silver contrast of their hair that they were not kin. But still, she huffed silently to herself, they seemed to keep each other at an arm's length. This mannerism ruled out her original hunch that they were lovers.

Even her elderly wisdom couldn't place a label on the relation between the pair. Along with the rest of the outsiders, and even those in Konoha, the true bond eluded her. At last the old woman deduced that they weren't tax collectors, she welcomed them humbly.

Sakura had given in a nervous grin and darted past, haunted by the scrutiny of those old eyes. The discomfort melted quickly when it became clear how lucky they were to find this place. Just off of the heart of town, it was the ideal location to stay-pretty cheap, given that there wasn't much room in the budget luxury.

The perks: there was a particularly nice bathhouse around the back. The con: It was a one-bedroom, one bed living space. No matter how quaintly the light red walls were painted or the illuminating effect of the wide window on the room's space, or the vastness of the downy bed… It was painfully obvious the room was built for just one inhabitant to enjoy.

But the shinobi had lived through worse.

"I'm going to take a walk around town," Kakashi said, meaning he wanted to map the area. He didn't ask Sakura to come with him, she quickly realized. There was no way she would miss seizing that free time.

"I'm going to the bookstore," she mirrored with own agenda on her mind. Kakashi raised an eyebrow, wondering when she had time for leisure. Not to mention, a little part of him was bitter about not being able to read the latest installment of Icha Icha since he lent it to Sakura.

"I need more… um, material. For the mission." She watched him shake off his vest and take off his headband. They agreed to temporarily discard any signs that they were shinobi to attract less suspicion; but it was okay to wear their usual clothes, because Kakashi still wanted to get hired by the target. They were trying to appear as if they weren't trying too hard, Sakura gussed.

With just his black shirt and pants, he looked even more tall and lean. She really never noticed his shape.

"I don't think you'll find a bookstore like that in this village."

_Damn, _she thought. _He read my mind! _ How _dare _he read her perverted mind. The girl took a deep breath.

"Look, Sensei, I need to get more information from somewhere."

Why was it that her innocent words were always threatening?

She noticed a shift in atmosphere almost right away, right when those words left her mouth. Why did everything seem to stiffen? Kakashi went about his business, acting like he hadn't even heard them. Was he fearful about where she was headed with these intentions?

_He taught me how to be a ninja, but I don't think he wants to teach me any more about the birds and the bees than I want to learn, _she thought, only partially bemused. She continued, trying to assure her Sensei.

"So bear with me. I'm going on an information hunt, too."

Through his mask, Kakashi eyed her with a look akin to pity. She _hated _pity. And the he offered her a few forced words of advice. "Relax. You only need to be comfortable with it. I know that might seem easier said than done, but…" he raised his hands defenselessly and "poof"ed away.

_ Always with the cut off exits_, Sakura thought dismally.

Alone, the pinkette whirled around. She strut over to the mirror by the room's only bed, and greeted the image. Reflection Sakura stared back at her, for the first time in a while. She remembered when she used to fawn in the mirror as a girl, brushing her long hair with a careful fervor. Those days were long gone.

After that era, she hardly had time to notice how much she grew up. The color of their youthful hair marked the only semblance to the little girl she once was. And damn was she proud of it.

She planted two hands on her hips. She poked out her chest. There was definitely a young woman in that mirror, ready to grow even further. She _was_ comfortable with herself. Right?

_Now_, Sakura noted while planting a kiss on the reflection, _let's just get you comfortable with everything else_. Behind her green eyes, the images of war and pain and healing flashed brilliantly. She could handle that, and she could handle this.

She bet liquid courage might help.

* * *

><p>While Kakashi gathered a fair amount of intel that day, he wondered how much the villagers learned from <em>him. <em>His clothing made it painfully clear that he was an outsider. On the one hand, it aroused suspicion. On the other, he wanted the right people come forward, attracted by his shady appearance. He needed to take a job to get into Zo's circle.

Information streamed through his thoughts as he stripped off his heavy gear and prepared to cleanse himself of the signs of travel. Each proponent of this mission needed to be staged, and thoughtfully. He tried to focus. He tried his best to keep the color pink from tainting that focus.

But wasn't she _the _focus?

* * *

><p><em> That's it… rest that weary eye just a little longer…<em>

How she managed to wriggle into the men's bath house and slip into its steamy waters without being seen was a feat in itself, never mind the fact that she was a kunoichi. Sakura sighed in relief and flung her floppy wet towel to the side. Sinking in deeper, the hot water relaxed her limbs.

She was clearly the only inhabitant of the spring who was void of tension in her back and shoulders—for the second occupier of the steamy water lie just across the other side, and he was rigid.

"Uh… Sakura. You may have stumbled into the wrong bath house," said Kakashi lightly.

The said pinkette opened her eyes to slits, glowing green like a suspicious feline.

"No, Sensei. It's a part of my training." A bead a sweat trickled down both of their foreheads.

Sakura's first tactic involved making a big joke out of the situation, laughing at the discomfort, and drinking in the awkwardness, and marrying her fears. The plan slowly unraveled when the reality sunk in—her breaking of the "norm" was utterly and painfully obvious. The social pain of this "training" was just as bad as the physical pain of normal training, she realized.

Sure, she did have a shot or two of burning sake before deciding to wade into the same hot spring as her Sensei, _naked_. Maybe the slight intoxication led to a lowering on inhibitions and overthinking of predicaments. And maybe, she thought using her sensei as a tool for her quest in sexual education was an OK idea if she was discrete.

Sakura's thoughts were swollen with the effect of liquid courage. Kakashi's facial expression was a buzzkill.

"Y-You see," she hastened to explain. "You said I need to get comfortable, but I'm not. The first step is to get comfortable around males and the male body, and since there aren't any at my disposal… Well, you get it. If I can just sit here, in the same hot spring as one, I can be more comfortable! And if I can't be comfortable here, I'm never going to be comfortable… " She quest to sound confident and strictly biological eluded her. There was no way to tell if her feeble, nervous explanation garnered pity.

Kakashi started to speak. "Well, I'm worried about this being inappropriate, it certainly doesn't look—"

"It's for the mission," she shot out abruptly.

"—Given the circumstances… I guess its fine."

Sakura glimpsed Kakashi sink down further into the water. A cloth already covered the lower part of his face, but left both of his striking eyes exposed. She tried not to gape, but it was the brilliancy of the eyes that drew her stare. The sight of that rare red orb drove the breath from her chest sometimes.

Or maybe it was just the hot water.

And also, she needed something to stop herself from thinking about the fact that his face was the _only _thing that was covered.

_HEY! This is Kakashi_! the girl thought. She was_ supposed_ to feel comfortable, not wonder what his actual shape was beneath the layers of clothing. Definitely not wonder what his bare arms looked like. Not…

_Shit._

He tried not to look, but he couldn't help but notice the deepening shade of scarlet his old pupil was becoming. Her face was a deeper hue than her hair. He finally took pity on her desperate advance, the collective embarrassment enough to even make him uncomfortable. It took a lot to faze the Copy Nin, whom a certain novel had desensitized to lewdness. Sakura could congratulate herself on accomplishing that. But now, she was too busy trying to appear casual, eyes pressed clothes and breathing controlled.

A wading, soothing sound reached Sakura's ears and she felt water gently pushing against her. Daring to raise her eyes, Sakura stiffened from head to toe. She had a reason to look over in _that _direction; Kakashi was slowly moving towards her.

Tension seized her, and she slowly moved backwards and away. What did he think he was doing? This kind of proximity made her nervous enough, but his slow closing of the gap was almost unbearable. Her slender back hit the wall of the spring, capping the distance she could put in between them.

_What is he doing? _she squeaked inwardly, _He's coming right for me._

"Sakura, listen. There's no need to be uncomfortable. Even if you are, and you are trying to deceive you're opponent, you must act confident even as he calls your bluff," Kakashi said in a low voice. With each slow syllabus, he drew forward. Every second brought her body closer to his, and his to hers.

Was he trying to teach her a lesson?

Sakura felt her body fire up, she guessed from embarrassment. When he approached he also rose from the water, inch by inch, and soon she could see drops of water clinging to his toned, muscled shoulders and sternum.

_Look. Away. _she commanded herself, shrinking away from the perceived indecency. Where would the line be drawn?

"S-Sensei—"

"You can stop calling me that," he smiled and gently reminded her. Now, he was just a few feet away. She wanted to cover up, hide herself, sink into the water.

Or maybe sink into the water and _explore_.

"I… want to," she said dumbly. His hair was wet, hanging over those multicolored eyes. His gaze struck her. In a moment, there were no words and no breaths. At last:

"You're not red anymore," he said cheerfully, and paused. She felt her chest rise and fall in revival. Then, he waded past her. She heard the water drip as he got out and left the Spring, leaving her froze.

The first training was complete.

* * *

><p>Reviews? Criticism? Thoughts hopes and dreams?<p>

Thanks!


	5. Chapter 5

**Welp. **No new reviews since my last chapter. Well KAKASAKU WILL LIVE ON! This is going to get good, damn it, I've developed my plot and I want you all to read it! But you know... a review here and there would be highly motivating. Just think about it.

Let's go.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>: **Sleeping Arrangements**

_What do you think you're doing? Damn it, Kakashi._

In truth, that stunt was more detrimental to himself than beneficial to Sakura. As he toweled his hair, he couldn't remember when he had ever warranted enough trust from his former student to get that close to her, in those conditions. He meekly hoped he hadn't offended her.

But once his feet started moving through the water, towards her, he couldn't stop. The power of curiosity, sympathy, wonderment, and something unknown propelled him. And he couldn't be sure if it was okay because they were once Sensei-student, or if it was dangerous for that same reason.

He wanted her to practice being comfortable, even with proximity. But did a guilty part of him want to watch her squirm under the pressure?

No...

In the room of the Inn, he toweled his hair dry and threw on a black shirt and pants. Just then, those sensitive ears picked up on a soft noise growing closer: the padding of bare feet on wood.

The Jonin's desire to be in the same room as the barely covered Sakura matched his desire to burn his current copy of Icha Icha Paradise. In a stupid, rushed move, he slid into the bathroom and shut the door just as another opened. He heard Sakura step in. He smelled her scent, too.

A feminine groan, and more pacing.

"Stupid, stupid," she muttered. "Why did you freeze up? God, he's only a man."

The concealed man, who was "_only_ a man", frowned. _Give me more credit, _he thought with a partially bemused frown.

"… Ugh! Sakura!" Her last professed grunt of frustration was the final guilty phrase his ears stole from the episode. After that point, Sakura's thoughts turned silently inward and cried of things he could only imagine, though he preferred not to. A soft _swish _and the sound of a few zippers informed Kakashi that it was time to make his escape.

Although in the last uncomfortable situation, he didn't offer her that choice.

For unknown reasons he hovered around a little longer. When Sakura made her move towards the door of the bathroom, he vanished. On the other side, an exhale.

* * *

><p>After chapter three, Sakura began to understand why Kakashi was so absorbed in this book. The suspense and thrill, romance and smut was nothing less than addicting. Even the shame of turning into a bit of a pervert didn't keep her nose out of the book—that is, when Kakashi wasn't looking. Each chapter brought them a little closer, she suspected. But, this proximity was one directional. She flipped a page nonchalantly and reclined back on the bed.<p>

By reading this book she was probing into Kakashi's mind, figuring out the guilty pleasures of a secret romantic. Well, maybe that took it a little too far, but a girl could have her fantasies. Picturing Kakashi that way, instead of a Konoha's famously skilled killer, was delightful.

From her relaxed sprawl on the bed, everything was mellow. When the door banged open Sakura jumped up, chucking the red book as far away as possible. It landed at a distance that clearly said, "_Sakura and I have had nothing to do with each other. Look. She's all the way over there."_

Kakashi entered the small room, overwhelmingly oblivious to her guilt. With one eye covered and the other half-closed, it was a wonder he didn't miss her entirely. He looked exhausted, although Sakura didn't have the faintest idea what he had been up to beforehand.

"Oh," he grunted, realizing something pink was on the bed. "You're still up." She crossed her arms like an angry housewife.

"Is it that late? I guess I didn't notice, but you've been gone for a while," she said. It was true that a vast darkness overtook the sun. Dimly lit stars sprinkled the sky outside the room's one window. The sky replicated the one in Konoha, which was comforting.

"I was on detail and I picked up a lead. I'll explain more tomorrow when there isn't a chance to be overheard." She nodded, drinking in his fatigued appearance. She hesitated for what would come next.

"Well, I'm tired, and I don't see a reason for either of us to keep watch." Kakashi smiled and rubbed the back of his head, before turning to the closet. When it opened, a blanket flopped out onto the floor. He picked it up and laid it out.

"Sensei—You're exhausted! I can sleep on the floor-"

"Nonsense. The star of the mission needs beauty sleep—"

"Kakashi-Sensei!" She heard him chuckle. She knew his words were meant to be playful, and meant to irritate her so she wouldn't offer anymore generosity. In the end, the arrangements worked out just fine. The Copy Nin was knocked out in a matter of minutes.

Sakura could only wish for the same fate. Her troubled mind wandered to more disturbing thoughts that robbed her of the sleep she yearned for. In the past few nights she suffered bouts of insomnia. Though half of her hated it, the other half was fearful to actually drift into sleep. When she did sleep, vicious nightmares invaded her mind and left her to wake up trembling and sweating.

The worst part was, they all seemed real. The nightmares were reflections of her dismal thoughts and anxieties that she held onto while conscious. She needed sleep, but she couldn't. For a long time, she lie in bed awake.

Absently her mind drifted to the out-of-sight shinobi that was sound asleep on the floor. He was a pretty quiet sleeper. Sakura smiled to herself, remembering all the times Kakashi-Sensei landed himself in a hospital bed and refused to sleep because he hated hospitals—only to pass out from fatigue moments later. This was probably one of those cases.

In fact, Sakura herself began to feel sleepy and depleted. Once her mind wandered to him, she felt peacefully fatigued. Her eyes drew to a close, and at last, sleep captured her.

And so didn't terror.

_She was too weak. _

_ Weakness. Such a word, the exact word that encapsulated her greatest fear; the inability to defend herself, and the ones she loved. For years she suffered being labeled in that useless category, but now she would never go back. Regressing to physical helplessness was a paralyzing pain._

_ She couldn't break their grip as Zo's accomplices discovered their encampment in the woods. They had been hiding out there for days, and the enemy knew all along. From the beginning she was hunted._

_She would die at their hands._

_ It was an ambush. She screamed, but failed at fending them off. Kakashi was gone—just a slumped body on the ground, a shadow she couldn't see. She felt her wrists being bound together with thick, cutting rope._

_ Naruto's face popped into her sight. But he wasn't there. Sasuke's face popped into her sight. He was certainly not there. It was just her, and for a moment she could fight back with all her strength. The strength evaporated and it was not enough. Something held her back, and the lump on the ground that was Kakashi's lifeless form evaporated the rest of her will to fight._

_ The two men struck again and pinned her down, whispering something sick in her ear. So she wanted to give it all up for the mission? Why not start now? How about a little warm up, something to remember before merciful death?_

_ They tore of her clothes, her bindings in gross violation. She knew she had to let them do it, for something reason but please—not here. They ravaged her and she felt the agony. Probing and grubby fingers, hot saliva, dark blood and pain. She was _worthless_—_

"Sakura!" a shout tore her from the scene. Sakura bolted up from her night terror, hands pressed over her chest and covering her legs. Her hair stuck against her forehead, damp with sweat. Her body shook involuntarily, and she noticed in dismay that her face was completely wet. In that moment she wondered if it all really happened…

It didn't matter, because it would be soon. Wasn't that right?

Green eyes opened through angry tears. She saw Kakashi sitting on the edge of the bed, scrutinizing her through two perfectly visible eyes. Not matter what, no matter how hard she tried to suppress the emotion, her body disobeyed her plea. It would not stop shaking.

"It was a dream," she heard his voice say. Sakura breathlessly tried to nod, to show him that she was OK, unfazed by a stupid dream. She lowered her head but kept it there, burning with shame. She couldn't stop this weakness from showing, or the tears from spilling out of her eyes. Everything was shivering, even her vision. The tears were only pure frustration; frustration at the fear, frustration at the weakness, and frustration at the sacrifice.

And _damn _it, she didn't want him to see her like this.

A hand rested on her shoulder, and her eyes opened. Under his touch, a wall crumbled. He invited her to let the emotion seep out. It was okay to feel, sometimes.

"I'm not prepared," Sakura choked out. She was trying her hardest not to break down, but the strain was evident. That hand on her shoulder slid further and wrapped around her.

"I know."

Blindly she turned her head into a source of warmth—Kakashi's chest. The arm he laid around her didn't move or push her away. She spent the rest of this moment controlling her breathing, calming down, until she felt free of the anger and fell asleep—right where she was.

* * *

><p><em>I don't want to wake up where he is.<em>

Even though consciousness roused her, she hesitated for minutes just to open her eyes. Sakura knew her body was completely rested but she realized what happened last night almost immediately. She felt shy to admit even to herself that it felt great to sink into _his _arms and just accept the fear. There were certain feelings that led her to feel comfortable like that. She _trusted _him.

However, it didn't feel great to again plunge in the pool of awkward embarrassment. The line between former and student and sensei became increasingly blurred. But—she didn't have worry.

An empty sunlit room greeted her. She drew up her legs and swung them over the bed. _Deep breath_. One thing about today was clear; the training must go on. Sexuality was yet to be discovered and she needed something to push these feelings aside—they were distracting.

These streets were busier than Konoha's on most days.

Kakashi walked down one with hands in his pockets, keeping an eye out for the target. There was a group of men he met yesterday that had many questions for him. The inquiries allowed him to ask some questions of his own, and it seemed like they were beginning to make some sort of a deal; These guys were on the outer edge of the village's crime circle, and he was weaseling his way in.

Mistakenly he hadn't yet debriefed Sakura on the information.

_Sakura… _It was a mistake to let his mind wander there. She clearly shouldered enough burden on this forsaken mission, although the previous night made that even more clear to him. He sighed and shrugged, wondering if he reacted the right way.

Of course he needed to ensure his teammate survived mentally and physically for the remainder for the mission.

Of course he wanted to support his former student in her distress over this ridiculous task.

Of course he wanted to show Sakura that her burden was his…

Right there, he knew it was a mistake. He was growing attached to something he knew would be hurt, and he couldn't really pinpoint the nature of this attachment. What was Tsunade thinking, assigning them both to this mission (although he wouldn't have any other accompany her). Unfortunately years of training and team bonding caused him to feel a little overprotective, despite fully knowing how capable the kunoichi was in defending herself. But it wasn't about that.

This was Sakura.

_If I keep thinking like Naruto, maybe I'll turn into the number one unpredictable ninja, _Kakashi thought wearily as he headed in the direction of a shadier part of town. That word could probably describe his behavior last night. Exactly when he decided it was natural to cross the boundaries of distance between them, he didn't know.

He only knew the severe sense of injustice he felt regarding this mission in the first place.

"_Lady Hokage, with all respect intended, I have to express my disagreement with the assignment of this mission. I high recommend removing Haruno Sakura from this task." He knew he was tempering with dangerous, dangerous water, but his own implicit anger gave him a sense of detachment. Urgency took over his body and diluted caution.  
><em>

"_First of all, _Kakashi, _don't pretend to address her like she's a stranger. Hasn't Sakura been your former student for years? Is there a conflict of interest?"_

"_Hokage-Sama, I don't think she's truly eligible—"_

"_Not eligible? Don't you know her skills? Didn't you practically raise her into a kunoichi?"_

"_No-"_

"_What are you really thinking? Kakashi!" Kakashi hardly ever lost his cool, and he didn't know if it was the nature of the disagreement or Tsunade's practical order that he shout it out and dissent against her that made him say it.  
><em>

"_It's unfair! We send Konoha's children to do the dirty work of adults." Even thought the statement was both true and childish, Tsunade absorbed it and took it as it is. There was no masking the impatience in her voice; but it was equaled out by a firm compassion to make him understand and point out his own hypocrisy. Did Kakashi Hatake forget the age when he became Jonin? In this world, so-called "children" grew up fast. It was a dismal joke among the community that each shinobi had an age, but also an "age" in ninja years. Just add ten.  
><em>

"_She—Sakura, is not a child. You and I both know that, very well." No, she thought, you won't make excuses to get her out of this one. He wouldn't guilt trip her on that false principle. Let it be a test for her. _

_And Tsunade won that match._

* * *

><p>Another visit to the bath house proved useful in clearing Sakura's churning mind. Dipping herself into the water (the lady's side, this time), she collected her thoughts. Sakura's signature red and white clothing was folded up in the edge of the spring. She realized that while her artillery of weapons were full, the other kind of arsenal she needed for this mission was virtually nonexistent. There was to say, no weapons of mass seduction. Nothing that warrented sex appeal.<p>

_Great. Now I have to go shopping for some slutty clothes, _she thought. _I could of just raided Ino's closet. _She smiled to herself while taking a jab at her blonde friend.

Truthfully, she did want to make herself useful instead of just waiting around for Kakashi to pick up a lead. It was time to do some investigative work herself! After all, she had a feeling that she needed to build some credit points after last night—no doubt his opinion of her plummeted.

Sure, he still liked her, she thought. But he probably saw the old Sakura—helpless, in need of protection. Just at the thought, her fist curled into a ball underwater.

The truth was—and she hated to admit this, it was quite confusing—it wasn't so much the nightmares that were her weakness. It was the indescribable feeling of using Kakashi in a way she never did before, and in a manner he never offered. The weakness came when he got close and offered solace, something that shocked her phenomenally. It felt like…

* * *

><p>"<em>Right<em>," Kakashi finally pulled his nose out of the book. "So that's how that chapter ends…" He placed the book beside him as he lay on his back on the room's sole bed. Outside the window, he noticed, the sky had turned a deep shade of blue. Even though everything wound down, himself included, Sakura was missing for most of the day.

As if on a whimsical cue, the door banged open. Kakashi didn't even flinch as the pink haired girl stomped inside, flung her arms in the air and yawned. It was the first time they had seen each other that day, if you didn't count the incident early that morning.

"Sakura?" Kakashi spoke her name, but it was more of a question than any greeting. From the moment she stepped in he sensed something was off. Her chakra was a little…. What was the word? Floozy. And "floozy" wasn't a common vernacular that he usually used to describe chakra.

Instead of replying, she tossed two bags side, whirled around, and _flopped _down on the bed in a spectacular face plant. She seemed perfectly intent on settling there, despite the Copy Ninja's presence beside her.

When she didn't move for several second, Kakashi began to suspect something unpleasant, like poison. There was no way that day's activities could have exhausted her to her limit. However, he wasn't exactly about to ask her, and it was all too easy to pull of the appearance of being completely unfazed.

"Well," he said with a blank expression. "I'll let you sleep." And it was a shame, because turning the lights off meant no late night Icha Icha. Kakashi side glanced the pinkette when she lifted her head to speak.

"Ehhh, Sensei… You don't have to move." She smiled and snuggled into the blanket. Her face was pretty flushed, but the Jonin suspected it had nothing to do with him.

He pointed it out for her by simply saying, "Sakura. You're drunk." She didn't appreciate the accusation in his tone.

"What, Sensei?" she wailed, turning on her back. "I'm not _drunk! _You see, I was… at a barbeque questioning this guy. I think I was onto to something." She paused for a moment, as if losing her thought. Her eyes drooped a little. "I wanted him to keep talking but he kept buying me shots. So I let him so I could find out…"

"How many shots did you take?" Drumroll please, he thought sarcastically as he waited for the pending answer.

"I don't know. Five?" For someone with her light frame, that was enough to get her drunk. It got her drunk, but it didn't get her into bed like that lowly townie was probably hoping (although it did, technically, get her into "bed" with _him_). He didn't know if he should berate her now, or let it go; drinking on a mission? Well, if it was to gather intel…

"Did you find out anything?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow." That was only fair, since he hadn't even debriefed her on his information yet.

"If you remember," he sighed, and made to move off the bed so the girl could sleep off her intoxication. In lighter times, he might have found her drunken state amusing.

"Wait," she groaned. "I said you don't have to go. Sensei, this bed is double sized, I feel guilty with you on the floor."

"It's nothing—" he began to say and ignored her banter; he seriously doubted she would act this way while sober.

"_Kakashi." _

What? No Sensei? His eyes widened when he felt a hand grasp his wrist. The touch was so unexpected that something jolted through him. He looked at her, and she was flashing those green eyes right at him.

"Please don't… Just stay." Sakura didn't have a good notion of time her in current state, but she knew that they looked at each other for what felt like a minute. When you're drunk, everything seemed to slow down. The reality is that that time was probably multiplied in real time. All she knew is that when she boldly grabbed his wrist—something sober Sakura wouldn't think of—a nice feeling crackled through her spine.

She didn't want to give that up. Plus, Kakashi could be especially useful if she had any more nightmares. Apparently, the man had more or less similar thoughts on his mind.

Sakura practically purred in appreciation when she felt him pull the rest of his body back into bed, though he released himself from her grip. With a weary and conflicted expression, he settled himself as far away from her as the bed allowed.

_I win, _she thought, content.

_I gave in, _he thought, wary. It was probably the worst sign of weakness to cave into a drunk Sakura's commands—but he was sure there were no mischievous, malicious motives in her simple request. Why not save himself the backache? Not to mention on other countless mission, they had slept in closer proximity on the ground outdoors.

"Thank you," she said, about to nod off. Kakashi pulled the blankets up, making sure to cover the half-conscious girl. When he was sure she was asleep, he went back to this thoughts. Thinking clearly was tough, because he couldn't ignore their proximity. He could hear her soft breaths, smell her sweet scent…

Kakashi was fairly certain now that this had to do with her self-proclaimed "training". First it was the hot springs, and now she was in bed with a man (of course in the most innocent sense!). He stared at the ceiling.

"_Kaka…" _Again, that jolt. His eyes widened and he looked to the source of the sleepy mumble. Sakura was still asleep when the last syllable rolled out of her mouth. "-_shi…."_

* * *

><p><em>End. <strong>Review?<strong>  
><em>


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi All!** Sorry if it's been a little longer since my last update-I planned to sooner but Thanksgiving break threw me off (I didn't have internet access during those days). Anyways, **a special thanks to you reviewers, **I really appreciate it! I promise you're going to like the chapters to come! It's only gettin' better.

A few peeps point out that my fic does sound so familiar to some others. I'm not denying that one at all-after all, I borrowed the original idea and kind of made it my own. I go through so many kakasaku's here (and there are NOT many on ) that I can't help but play off of some of those ideas. But again, in the end it's all my own. The content may be inspired, but most of is original (esp. in style).

PS-After I'm done with this fic, I already have the best idea for another KakaSaku. Don't worry, I plan on finishing this one. I'll shut up now and move on with this important stuff...:

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6: Never Without Control<strong>

When Sakura woke up… She woke up to one _hell _of a surprise. Yes, she knew she drank a little too much last night. Yes, she pretty much remembered storming into the room and occupying the bed with little control of what came out of her mouth. Did she ask Kakashi to not bother moving himself to the ground? Sure.

She could _not _remember entangling herself in him in the middle of the night.

Sakura was too scared to breathe, lest she wake him up in this position. Firstly, there was hardly _any _space between them. Some of the fabric of his black shirt touched her. Her head was more or less nestled just below his chin, resting on his arm which lay out in a crooked angle. Her own arms were folded by her chest. He was turned on his side facing her, and so one of his legs fell over a bit of hers, which was stretched out. She definitely knew how to make herself comfortable while sleeping.

Although, how much did Kakashi play a part in his entrapment? Even though the warmth that radiated off his perfectly formed body was bliss in the morning, Sakura was way too scared to stay.

_Wait… is this a dream? _she wondered hesitantly. Slowly she clasped her hands together to form a simple hand sign.

"Kai!" she whispered as softly as she could. Not only did she realize that this wasn't a dream, but she woke him up, too. She would regret wiping the peaceful expression of carelessness off of his face.

_Oh! So you don't wake up when I roll around in my sleep but that whisper woke you up! What! _she screamed inwardly.

One black eye opened and met the green ones. That small moment of ignorance and comfortable peace followed. Kakashi's mind had yet to wake up, too.

_Wait… Sakura's eyes? How did we get so close?_

She watched his eyes widen in realization and his head lift up a little. Even in this situation, she couldn't help but notice how cute his "bed head" hair looked. Lots of silvery white hair was splayed over his face and the pillows. His mask had slid down a bit and rested on the bridge of his nose, leaving both eyes exposed.

"Uh…" Once he finally became aware of their entanglement, he jerked away in alarm. Not only that, but he ducked from the covers completely and sat on the edge of the bed, just trying to figure it out.

"I'm sorry, Sensei! I guess I move around in my sleep, it's a really bad habit! And I don't remember too much from last night, I'm sorry!" she lied hastily. Since his back was turned, she couldn't read the expression on his face.

"That's okay," he said, turned his head and flashed her a very brief eye-creased smile. Sakura faltered, wondering how he managed to play everything off so coolly. She wasn't the only one to blame for this mess!

"So," he continued. "What did you learn?"

* * *

><p>It was a wonder that the seemingly inept townies of this village knew so much about the secret organized crime that left it's remnants in the town's allies. Sakura's information hunt led her to a man who began to tell her where she could find the key players in the region's most dangerous crime circle: she assumed he meant Zo's. The guy seemed too nervous to reveal more information and too intent on getting her hammered to let more information slip. Kakashi, however, was on a whole different level.<p>

Three men who worked as liaisons between the villages small band of thieves and Zo's actual organization were negotiating a job with him. They believed that he was a wandering shinobi, darting from place to place to get some money. They told him that Zo accepted strong recruits, but only if they came bearing gifts that proved loyalty. He replied that he had one, and she was the best present a man could give.

Of course, he didn't tell Sakura about that part. Things were already weird between them, and at least he knew how to act professional. She acted bipolar, no doubt a reflection of her confusion and nervousness; one second she would barely look him in the eye, and the next she begged him to let her accompany him on his next intel gathering.

And that was what led the unlikely duo to the bar. Kakashi swore it was nothing more!

"Who knew a bar would be such a hub for thieves? Don't you think they would be more cautious of what comes out of their mouths?" Sakura asked while they approached, eyeing the glowing, outdoor bar with a disgust.

"I'm not surprised," Kakashi commented, hands shoved in his pockets. The criminals here said anything and did everything for a profit. Sakura insisted on the exact bar to scope out—the same she previously inhabited. Kakashi privately hoped that the men he negotiated with made an appearance and were entranced by Sakura's appeal into solidifying the deal.

Sakura's appeal was enhanced by her choice of wardrobe—something to attract the barflies and loosen their tongues. She donned a bright red dress, similar to the style she used to wear in her genin days—but this was much more adult. It was short and stopped on her upper thighs. It was also low cut, but dark netting underneath kept her from exposing too much—it was the same netting most ninja wore under their garments, he realized. It was also pleasantly form-fitting.

And, it was also time for him to get his eyes off of her and focus at the task at hand. Well, even if this trip didn't garner much more information, he didn't mind the short break. Maybe he could even sort some things out with his ex-student.

Sakura took a seat at the bar, and Kakashi joined her. His eyes scanned the premise for the sight of familiar faces, but he saw none. Sakura saw the man she met the night before—but he wasn't looking at her.

_If Kakashi-Sensei is going to sit next to me all night, I don't think anyone will have the guts to approach me, _Sakura thought. She propped her elbows on the bar counter and rested her chin on her fist.

"Can I get you something?" the bar tender asked. Behind him, shelves full of dark, cheap liquor displayed their tempting and sickening glory.

"No thanks," she thought, a pink blush spreading across her face. The last time Sakura drank… She hoped Kakashi wasn't looking at her flush.

"Oh, so you're taking it easy tonight?" she heard him say. Sakura did not appreciate the joke. _Jeesh, _she wasn't an alcoholic! Little did he know, his increased joking led to an increased chance of a fist landing on his head.

He realized she wasn't quite in the joking mood. Or a Kakashi mood, for that matter.

_Yet she's the one who got close to me last night, _he thought dryly. At least Kakashi liked to tell himself those words. A small lump of dissonance in his throat reminded him that maybe, he couldn't really remember, but maybe he woke up once or twice from her nudging and rolling. And maybe he thought it was a dream, and chose not to push her away. Doing nothing wasn't a crime.

Sakura's voice interrupted the distressing thought. "That man is staring at you," she pointed out. Kakashi turned and caught the eye of _that _man, the one he negotiated with. Within seconds, the bartender returned to their side of the counter. This time, his attention didn't turn to Sakura.

"A drink on the house, compliments of that guy." The man smiled.

Sakura was repulsed.

"Kakashi-Sensei, he's hitting on you?" she whined lowly, as if the gift was an upsetting insult. Tearing his eye away from the negotiator, he looked at the shot placed in front of him.

"Are you jealous?" he asked, taunting her with a kind of nonchalance that infuriated her. She couldn't decide if he meant jealousy over him or the attention he received from other males.

"No! But why…"

"Shh, Sakura. It's the one I'm arranging a deal with, a guy from Zo's circle." Her eyes sharpened and she resisted the urge to stare at him. "Go ahead and wink at him."

"_What?"_Kakashi-Sensei, instructing her to flirt with a lowly thug?

"I told him about you. Let him see you."

_You mean my appeal? _she thought weakly and obliged. As much as the phony flirting disgusted her, she flashed the unattractive man a furtive wink and lowered her gaze.

"Sakura… you're blushing," Kakashi told her. At first it was a fake blush—she knew men liked that innocent yet naughty kind of thing—but when the Jonin pointed it out, it turned genuine.

"I know that! It's for him." She hated when Kakashi caught her blushing, especially if he ever thought it was because of him. Nonetheless when Kakashi looked up, the man looked smitten. He also motioned to the silver-haired man to take the shot, lifting his own glass in a "cheers".

"Looks like I'm going to have to do this," Kakashi said dismally, grasping the small glass with exposed fingertips.

"Drinking on the job?" Sakura jeered teasingly, shaking her head. The chance to get him back for his snide jokes put a smirk on her face, though she doubted a sole shot would even give the tall, lean man a shiver of warmth. Verbal retaliation would probably sting more than that shot.

"It's obviously a gesture to seal the deal," Kakashi said. "He saw you and now he really wants the deal." Sakura turned her head away when she felt another blush enter her face—it was weird to hear him talk about her like that. When she turned back, the shot glass was empty in his hand.

Her face was green.

"Something wrong?"

_How could I miss seeing his face!_

Kakashi flashed her that smile in the form of a crinkled eye, probably reading her mind, and she smiled back. For some reason her frustrations melted away and she embraced the familiar—her Sensei's face, sitting beside her, smiling. Her stomach imitated her mood and something fluttered inside it—which was weird, because the girl didn't remember eating much today. Whatever it was, it felt giddy.

* * *

><p><em>Tell me, God of this world, how could a man get THIS trashed off of ONE shot?<em>

Sakura as a medic _knew _that the alcohol content of that single shot should not have been sufficient in raising her ex-Sensei's BAC enough to get him this intoxicated. Oh, and Kakashi was utterly, knock-out _intoxicated_. And, he was _heavy. _She usually liked tall, built men, but it was a different case when she had to support their full weight back home at night.

It started once she noticed Kakashi acting a little weird. He stared at her unflinchingly before announcing that he was going to the bathroom. His words slurred a little, which she found hilarious, but when he cut from his seat and nearly planted on the ground—she was just a bit worried.

He couldn't walk in a straight line, tell her how he'd gotten so out of control, or too much else for that matter. He leaned heavily on her as she tried to walk them back to the Inn.

It was the strangest thing to Sakura to see her Sensei in a position where he did not have complete control over the expressions on his face. Kakashi: the Copy Ninja, master of emotionless words, concealer of thoughts and blank expressions. Prying real emotion out of him in most cases was like milking a boulder.

But now, he was clearly disoriented and acting on his most basic instincts—like everyone else when they're drunk. Sakura was amused. She only wished she had thought to ask the bar tender _what _was in that shot before dashing out (not that she had a choice).

She wanted to get him out of there before he tried something like starting a fight or jumping on the roof. The town could probably not handle that kind of bloodshed.

It took a very long, drawn out amount of time to get him up the stairs and into the Inn. Kakashi didn't speak much, but there was no way he could censor himself in this state, so Sakura just suspected he was clueless.

He couldn't even stand on his own feet.

_What _was in that drink? This town was hard core, Sakura decided.

She managed to fidget a key in the lock and open the door while propping him up with her full arm. Once it swung open, she was to put both of her arms around him and_ drag _him in. He was taller than her and heavier than her—the end result being a loss of control and direction of their collective movement.

Sakura meant to throw him on the bed, channeling her super human strength, but something went wrong. Right when she brought to the forefront of the bed, Kakashi stumbled forward and all of his weight transferred onto her. She was not prepared for that.

Together they stumbled back, Sakura desperately trying to hoist him up, until she tripped and they both hit the wall with an unpleasant _thump. _Sakura's vision blurred for a second when the back of her heard collided with the wall, but she recovered in an instant. She was leaning against it with her legs bent, and Kakashi was _over _her, his arms propping him up on their side of the wall.

"_Sakura,"_ she heard him speak clearly for the first time since the bar. The husky tone of his voice literally sent shivers up and down her spine twice. She would pay to hear him say her name like that every time he said it.

She felt his breath through the mask as he leaned down. She froze, and there was no other reaction she could think of. What was happening?

"Kakashi?" his arm slid off of the wall and rested on her waist before capturing it entirely and pulling her closer.

Her body was on _fire. _So now she knew.

Kakashi would need to be _that _drunk to come on to his ex-student. Yes, this was her former _Sensei _that she was _this _close with. Of course, they had always been close in the familial sense, with a unique bond and friendship to match. This was a different, animalistic, no inhibitions or student/teacher relations type of close that made her wildly nervous and wildly excited. She couldn't tell which it was, really.

"Kakashi-Sensei!" She fidgeted a little, but his hold was steadfast. She didn't try too hard, a little intrigued about what he was doing. He leaned over, and his mouth brushed her ear as he whispered into it,

"You can say my name like that all you want."

Sakura _squeaked. _

The hair on the back of her neck stood on end and he nestled a knee between her legs without making actually contact with them. Her legs buckled and she slid to the ground with her back against the wall, and he joined her.

Pulling her closing, he began to say, "Do you know…"

"You would never do this if you weren't in this state! This isn't you," she whispered back, making weak attempting to resist this. His face was getting close.

"How do you know?"

That voice again. She looked right at him. The stare he was boring into her eyes, it was so clear. It was a sharper gaze than ever, burning with intent. It was _smoldering._

"B-Because we're…. You're drunk!"

"Drunkenness is just a mask for sober words and thought, unrestrained by rules," he told her with the touch of a smile. She noticed Kakashi had placed a special emphasis on the word _rules_. Instead of kidding her, he buried his face into her neck and she swore she felt him nip her. It was too much—because if he was going to go on with this and she didn't die of shock, she couldn't guarantee she could control her own actions.

Everything in her body screamed to let the Copy Ninja Kakashi touch her and do whatever to her he wanted, even for curiosity's sake. Where else would she ever get this amount of attention from the man she trusted and respected so much? The man she craved admiration from?

She put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back, staring him in the eyes. Both were exposed, void of the lazy look they usually contained. It was bizarre but she had never been this close to his Sharingan before, and accompanying it was that scar that ran down the length of this eye lid and some of his cheek.

And to a medic it was abundantly clear that the mark was a novice surgical scar. She couldn't keep her hand from going to his face, palm planted on his cheek. She traced the lower part of the scar with her thumb.

But Kakashi shrugged forward again, placing his forehead against her, masking her with his husky scent. For a second his hand reached up, but he brought to his own face. The fabric of his mask was inching down under his fingertips—

What was that sound? It wan'ts Sakura's head exploding. It was the window breaking. Or, as she noticed when she whipped her pink head to the source, a window shattering after being pierced by a kunai.

* * *

><p>A little cut-off but I didn't want to give too much of the story away. Review Review! xo<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

**YAY**! Loving all the reviews! Many of you really wanted the next chapter soon after that cut-off so I'm pushing this out for you. I really appreciate the reviews and I love you all! A few things:

**Mistake**: I meant to correct this but I forgot. Sakura makes the mistake of thinking Kakashi's scar is a surgical one (from the Sharigan implant). I remembered it's not -_-

**Also**: The story has caught up to my written. I'm struggling with the next chapter so it may take longer. And, I need some advice! It will be at the end of the fic. Now, enjoy!

**xo**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

**The Token of Loyalty  
><strong>

_But Kakashi shrugged forward again, placing his forehead against her, masking her with his husky scent. For a second his hand reached up, but he brought to his own face. The fabric of his mask was inching down under his fingertips—_

What was that sound? It wasn't Sakura's head exploding. It was the window breaking. Or, as she noticed when she whipped her pink head to the source, a window shattering after being pierced by a kunai.

"Shit!" Sakura ducked under the immobilized Kakashi and leapt to her feet in a defensive stance. Two men slid in through the window, ugly grins plastered on their grubby faces. She immediately recognized one as being the man from the bar.

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything precious!"

Why? Why did this have to happen now when Kakashi was incapacitated! Sakura could hold her own against any normal chunin or jonin, outnumbered or now, but it seemed as if this sneak assault was premeditated. They must have known that the Copy Ninja Kakashi was incapable of fighting.

"Cowards!" Sakura spat at the pair, her own kunai in hand. "What do you want?" One of the men leered and licked his lips in a way that instilled a strong urge in Sakura to cut off his tongue. Disgusting.

Kakashi seemed vaguely aware of what was going on, but was totally incapable of getting off the ground. In fact, the effects of whatever he ingested were shutting him down. Both his eyes closed and he slumped against the wall.

_No, no, no, _Sakura thought. The thugs were wary of her, keeping their distance at first. When she charged in to make the first move the battle began. She managed to get a great kidney-aimed punch landed before she realized that one of these guys was a little more skilled than a common chunin.

She dodged and stabbed and shouted before a sudden hit put the lights out of her eyes. Temporarily blacking out from a hit sometimes tended to stall her movements. The man formed a few hand seals before some tape like binding materialized from his sleeves, tying up the female target and constricting all movement.

Sakura and the floor met with a _thump._

_ How could I let my guard down? _she cursed herself.

"Don't worry miss, you didn't have to put up so much of a fight," said the man who wrapped her in his ninjutsu. "And just where does a girl like you get off being strong?" He was actually panting, words tumbling out roughly from his chapped lips. His partner was doubled over in the corner, clutching the spot where his kidney was (or used to be before that punch).

"What do you want with us?"

"We're just upholding the bargain."

* * *

><p>As soon as Kakashi opened his eye—just one,—his head exploded. He felt the blood rush to his temples and his head pulse. He felt like <em>shit. <em>This was the morning after the celebration when he became a jonin times three: the same fateful night that permanently replaced his taste of alcohol with an aversion. He shut his eye again.

"Hey. We're almost there. Are you up?"

Who was calling him? _No _he was not waking up. He was crouching down here and nursing his head until the pain went away. Would that voice just go away, already?

"Sensei? Sensei?"

_Shit. _That combination of voice and name hit him like cold water. Kakashi opened his eyes, immediately thankful that there was minimal lighting around them to further agitate his throbbing head. On the negative, the moving carriage he appeared to be in jostled incessantly. The picture of Sakura slowly came to focus before his eyes.

"Kakashi-Sensei! How are you feeling?"

Forget that, he wanted to ask her how she was feeling. The kunoichi had a look of pure aggression and determination set in her green eyes. His mouth was really dry.

"Like I was hit by a paper bomb."

Sakura sighed. She placed a hand on the side of his temple and let her chakra seep in, relieving the pain in his head. Relief flooded him, and moments later so did the reality of their situation. Memory inched its way back into his consciousness.

"Where are we?" he asked gravely. Sakura finished healing him before she answered.

"We're on our way to meet Rikchi Zo. That shot you drank last night—it was a drug. A powerful one, too, but since it was mixed with alcohol the effect should be leaving your body now."

"I see."

"They drugged you to the point where you would be unable to fight because they were worried you would overpower them." Kakashi nodded, remembering the sudden effect and loss of control he felt after downing the liquid.

"Who's them?"

"They guy at the bar and another one, of much higher level. I couldn't take them both on myself since they surprised us."

_And because you were distracting me, _a small voice injected the unhelpful reminder into her thoughts, but Sakura continued on.

"I don't think we have to worry yet—They're bringing us both to Zo to arrange the job, they just don't want us to know the location of the hideout. Apparently they didn't think you would go along with it. That's why they knocked you out and tied me up."

He eyed her over, noticing no signs of rope anywhere on the girl. He faintly wished for her cool touch back on his head, soothing the remainder of this disgruntled irritation out of his mind. The Jonin was not pleased with the cheap trick they used to subdue him and overpower Sakura.

"I'm sorry I was unable to help. Are you hurt?" he asked her. She shook her head.

"Like I said, only one of them is above chunin level. They're cowards for doing that."

"Yes… I remember seeing the kunai that landed in the room. It had Zo's branded mark on it." Sakura recoiled at the statement and stared.

"Sensei? How did you know the kunai was Zo's mark?"

"My Sharigan caught it," he pointed out.

"You remember that?" Seething suspicion lined her voice. Sakura swore that in Kakashi's state, with a drug that potent at the least, he shouldn't have remembered a thing. The events of that night should have been a black smudge in his mind. The Jonin's resilience was incredible. But, if he remembered enough to catch something as finite as the logo on a kunai, he must have retained his memory for the moments just before that.

Like the moment when he was seconds away slipping off the black fabric of his mask to show her his face, and even before that, when he….

If Kakashi sensed the direction of her thoughts, he wisely diverted them. "We're here," he pointed out, flexing his limbs to shake away the lethargy. As if affirming his quick words, the wagon cantered to a halt. They could hear hushed voices outside the wagon's papery cover.

_"Quickly, he's going to wake up soon and you don't want to be the only one around when that happens!"_

Kakashi glared at no one in particular, just because they were damned right. Luckily for the men, he would have to play the part just to meet Zo. He looked across from him—Sakura looked cool and collected, straining to listen for approaching footsteps.

Well, she was a hop skip and a jump away from being raped. If she could bottle her anger, so could he.

Sakura thought it was just great how white and shaky these so-called bandits were in the presence of the famous Copy Ninja, but secretly resented the fact that none of this caution was displayed around her. Their fear especially confounded her since the attackers knowledge of her Sensei's reputation was nothing! They were basically under cover, yet Kakashi was still admired and feared.

_What a cool guy,_ Sakura thought in a way that was both sarcastic and not. Only a small dose of jealously flowed in her blood. Actually, she was whole heartedly glad to have him beside her. She was also whole heartedly dreading the thought of what happened from here on out.

The Konoha ninja were ushered into a hall and stood before a set of double-doors. _This _was Rikchi Zo's compound. As far as she could tell it was in the middle of nowhere—his cronies made sure she was blinded during the trip here. It was a wide, long and flat building. The inside was somewhat lavish.

The doors opened and the pair were told to enter, with the same two men flanking their sides. For Sakura, it was a moment of truth. She stepped in the room to face her assailant—the lusty, power-hungry mongul who fate decided would be her first "lover".

_Fun and romantic._

Everything was red.

"Ah… Akito. Jiro," a smooth voice drawled. Sakura's eyes snapped upwards. On a slightly elevated platform, resting in a very comfortable looking armchair, was a man. He had the face of someone not much older than her companion, and it surprised her to see his appearance wasn't as vulgar as his reputation.

His had a strong jaw and whiskers, and hue-less brown hair that fell over his forehead and ears. Some strange tattoos cut into his bare arms. He looked like some common thug, what made him so special? This certainly couldn't be…

"Zo-sama!" the men exclaimed in unison. Zo smiled. There was something about his tone that gave Sakura the feeling that he was a manipulating bastard. Akito, the high level one, and Jiro the chunin sounded like they worshipped him. Or feared him—the more likely answer.

"I'm hoping for your sakes that this isn't a waste of my time," he told the room. Sakura hated how it echoed. She wanted to stick her tongue out like a petulant child. "What do you have now?"

"It's the ones Guja told you about."

"Ah. What's his name?"

"Uh!" It's-!" Apparently, they weren't too bright, having forgotten the fake name already. For the first time Sakura turned her eyes towards Kakashi, who was perfectly still. Despite the nervous energy bubbling in her stomach, the sight of him calmed her. Under pressure, he was perfect.

"Tenzin."

"'Tenzin'?" Zo repeated, leaning in closer with his elbows on his knees. She felt like they forcibly shouted because of the sizeable distance between them. It must be an extra precaution. "Right, well, I've heard enough about your skills. Like all recruits, you're going to be tested. If you make the cut, you're in and you'll have a nice little job in a few days. If you don't we kill you.

If you get in your belong to me, but you will be… compensated. Especially someone of your particular skills, if they are true, you can be valuable, eh? I'd ask your story but you're all the same... Poor urban trash or discredited exiles coming in for work. I'm only interested in one thing."

There was something charming and bored in his voice, as if he personally explained this over and over again to every "recruit" that wandered in in search of money or protection or whatever. While his words were cruel and unpitying, he acted like a host, a savior, in fact. Sakura wanted to spit on him. He probably took in criminals, used them and made them feel secure, and disposed of them when his will was fulfilled. She hated him.

"I brought a gift as a token of loyalty, as customary," Kakashi said. This is where her part came in. Sakura took a step forward and bowed, half-heartedly hoping he liked what he saw.

"Hmmmmmm!" Suddenly, a feverish excitement seemed to sweep over him. He leaned forward even more with widened eyes, stroking his chin.

"Where did you get that, Tenzin?" Zo's eyes focused solely on her. Sakura stared back.

"Her name is Kira. I found the orphan in a village during my travels. She offers quite unique services, anything you want really. Quite young and fit, too, so it didn't take much persuasion for her to agree to accompany me. What's mine is now yours," Kakashi explained quite cheerfully, despite every word equating to a forceful stab in Sakura's chest.

"How…. old?" Zo asked, still fixated. "Such a rare beauty."

"Sixteen," Kakashi lied, and Sakura thought he was being a bit too hopeful. Surely she looked older than that! Zo bought it, and Sakura remembered that her ego wasn't the only thing that was going to hurt now. She resisted the urge to step closer to Kakashi and launch an attack. In this case of fight or flight, she just had to submit.

Which was such an _un-_Sakura-ish thing to do now-a-days. And to think in her genin days, Kakashi bred such an obedient, dutiful kunoichi… Sakura settled on compromising both qualities.

"Jiro will show you to your quarters. Please, rest easy here tonight." Jiro hastened forward to lead them away. Before they turned their back, Rikchi Zo sung more words of command.

"Ah—don't forget. I'll have that Kira waiting for me in my bed tonight. Don't let her fall asleep—I'll be back late."

* * *

><p>They were led out of a different pair of double doors.<p>

"You can both s-stay in this room for now, 'cause the girl won't be staying there tonight," Jiro told them when he introduced them to the suite. The room was very nice and lavish—with one pompous bed, a dresser, and red curtains. It was clear that Jiro gave out a special room, likely an attempt to win over Kakashi. He wanted no hard feelings for the violent transaction and drugging that led them here. It was his fear that if the Jonin were inducted to the circle, vengeance would be taken.

But why would Kakashi wait until then?

"Please don't take what happened personally," Jiro said. Sakura _almost_ pitied him—just a mindless drone in Rikchi's hierarchical organization. The key word was almost.

Before Kakashi could respond she delivered a swift punch to the side of his gut, bursting with satisfaction as he doubled over.

"We're even," she said, even though his bone to pick wasn't with her. "Just thought I'd take out your other kidney to even you out." He snarled something about her being a devious bitch, but Kakashi waved him off before he, too, did something they might regret.

When Jiro's chakra signature faded away, they went inside and shut the door.

"Kakashi…" Sakura turned to address her Sensei, whose silence during this ordeal instilled uneasiness in her. Now that the source of her dread was so near, she wanted him to address it. _Something. _Even that familiar and belittling hair-ruffling he was so fond of would ease her nerves in this situation.

"It's clear that Jiro is the weak link in this organization, and Zo is careless to have him around. Jiro's from the town we stayed in—a petty criminal with no real skill. I'm sure I can figure out from him exactly what this business is all about."

Right. It didn't matter that her personal fears were about to be validated, what mattered was the mission. They were inches away from recovering this scroll and recovering a massive weapon that could be used against to Leaf.

_Stay focused, _Sakura told herself. No more being weak. This is what being a kunoichi is about.

Sakura nodded to him.

"And tonight, what should I try to get out of Zo? If I ask too many questions, he'll get suspicious." Kakashi rested an eye on her, noting the difference in her postured demeanor. She stared back before breaking the gaze to disarm herself. She couldn't have Zo discovering the kunai strapped to her thigh—call girls weren't _that _kinky.

"Your role may be more about distraction and gaining trust than questioning right now," Kakashi said slowly, as if the news that her role was confined to that of a sexual object might make her think twice. Sakura only nodded again.

"Okay… Sensei. I—"

The door banged open, causing Kakashi to snap his head up and Sakura to jump into a defensive stance. In a mere millisecond she felt the kunai knocked out of her hand—by Kakashi. He looked casually at the intruder. It was a woman.

"Kira-san, you must come with me to prepare for your evening with Zo-sama."

_Prepare? _Sakura would have snorted. In the scope of the entire mission, her attempt to _prepare _did not actually prepare her for anything. And now, this stranger was offering to take her off and fluff her up for her ritualistic deflowering. And she called it preparing. Sakura bowed her head.

"Sure," she said simply and stepped forward. When she did this, her senses finally picked up on the strange tingling in her fingers. Since slapping away and concealing the kunai, Kakashi's hand lingered on her fingers.

When Sakura stepped away, she felt that small tug before the release. She swore she felt a slight squeeze.

To preserve dignity, she did not look back at the Copy Nin before exiting.

* * *

><p>So... I have more in store. To cure my small dose of writer's block, please <strong>review!<strong> And also give me your advice:

I'm really struggling whether or not I should include** lemon**. The next chapter would contain this short bit (and trust me, don't worry-it's not as BAM KAKASAKU IS HAPPENING! as you might think. I'm a slow to progress, in-character type author. Of course I'd have to change this to M... Which I may have to do later down the raod anyways. I just don't want graphic lemon to ruin what I started. I think I can get away with lime... but in my head, it keeps happening the other way. Whatcha think?


	8. Chapter 8

xx

Thank you to all my reviewers 3 I've seen a lot of you add this to your favorites, which I doubly appreciate, but you haven't reviewed.. Please do!

I can't believe I made it through this chapter alive, I though it would give me so much trouble! I did it! And this is a seriously **LONG-ASS CHAPTER **for you guys! Don't expect the next one too, too soon. Will I get reviews for my efforts.?

**Regarding the...** lemon. Let's just say I turned this to M. I'm not going to call this lemon though, because that's not the purpose it served. I wanted to avoid it but in a fic like this-well, that's just the way it went down. I can't lie to mah readers. If you didn't find it particularly entertaining-that's okay. It wasn't meant to fully entertain in that way. I'm just documenting how the story plays out in my head1

Enjoy.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

**Episode of "Firsts"  
><strong>

The woman who hastened her to the dressing chamber was the perfect example of a marionette; a pretty little thing Zo kept around to use as he pleased. She had a blank face void of any empathy for the pink haired girl she brought closer and closer to her fate. She donned the face of a servant doing her duty, as if it were a routine.

It likely was.

When Sakura ambled into the room, a square of silky blue cloth was pushed into her hands.

"Please knock on the door when you are clean and dressed." The instructions were delivered in her monotone, feminine voice. She pointed to an open door, through which a bathroom could be seen. Sakura knew she was nothing more than a puppet, but her dislike of her grew. How many girls were told these same words?

The woman departed through the door, closing it lightly behind her.

Sakura had no intention of bathing—why should she get clean for a man as dirty as his own thieving blood? Instead she unwrapped the square until it took its proper form; an elegant yukata with a deep neck line.

Sakura slipped off her casuals and slipped into the yukata, leaving on her black spandex even though it would pose as an obstacle later on. If Zo's grubby hands would receive the pleasure of touching her, Sakura wanted to be unwrapped in layers. Her ego had problems being delivered so plainly on a platter.

Even though the yukata, garnished in blue and white flower patterns, was beautiful, she couldn't imagine a less flattering color to be draped over her fit body. Her hair was _pink, _and everything else in this place was red. Any variation of those colors would complement her nicely—even a rich green might bring out her eyes.

The blue was a stark contrast, and did nothing for her except cause her beauty to shrink in the large fabric.

_If they're going to sell me out, they should at least make sure I look good, _Sakura thought pathetically. She thought Kakashi-sensei wouldn't approve, either. Fighting the urge to stall, Sakura's feet carried her to the door and she rapped on the wood forcefully. The woman slid in with an unchanging expression. She told Sakura to follow her, and she chased her shadow down the halls until they were before yet another grandiose door. She opened it, and the bedroom of peril appeared before her eyes.

A gigantic bed with tall posts functioned as the centerpiece. There wasn't much else in the room, aside from a small window and a door that presumably led to another bathroom. There was also a closet full of clothing—ladies clothing.

"You must wait here on the bed until Zo-sama arrives. You must wait unmoving until—"

"I _heard _you," Sakura snapped, her voice straining with impatience while trying to feign politeness. She turned around and forced her body to fold over in a bow. "Thank you."

When the door shut and locked, she mentally and physically becameen closed in the imprisonment. Before Sakura's body even touched the feathery bed, she devoted her energy to searching every bureau and crevice of the room—but after doing so the room's function became clear. Nothing but clothes and sensual aids hid in the cubbies and closets.

With a sickening sigh, she slid onto the smooth covers of the bed. The walls and duvet were red, and her yukata was blue. But her hair was still pink and she was sure that rosy color was the color being sacrificed, here.

She vaguely remembered her Sensei saying something about that a while ago.

"_Let's just say I've grown rather fond of the color of your hair," Kakashi said with a smile before disappearing into a plume of smoke._

At the time, she failed to understand how that was a reason for attempting to make her forfeit the mission. She still only began to understand the analogy.

Sakura, as instructed, waited obediently on the bed. For _hours. _

Originally she imagined a tragic and furious battle where Zo dragged her violently, screaming and clawing, into bed, violating and ravishing her. The kunoichi went down with a fight, only finally succumbing to his evil rape fantasy for the sake of Konoha! And after that brash moment it would be over.

This? This was the cruelest. Sakura, pretty and pink and blue, waiting on this bed for _hours. _Going against every rule she was raised to follow, Sakura simply waited for the A-class nin to assault her. Even if she transformed her fear into bravery and came to terms with this sacrifice completely, the waiting part allowed enough time for her over analytical mind to tear down those walls of security, knaw at her esteem, and wear out her nerves. She could go crazy with anxiety while she wanted, and if she didn't keep her thoughts in check she might do just that.

She wondered what Kakashi was doing right now. Was he lying in bed, comfortable and warm? Was he imagining what she was doing at this moment, possibly in disgust? For all he knew, Zo could be screwing her brains out right now. For all she knew, he had no way of knowing.

She wondered how he would think of her when he knew she lost her virginity to the dirty, foreign hands of a rogue ninja. How would Ino see her? Her worth as a hollow kunoichi might rise. Her worth as a woman might decline.

In a time long enough after these thoughts mulled in her head, in one great, anticlimactic moment that sent her heart in a frenzy anyways, the door opened: the tan, brazen, rough looking guy that she saw before stumbled in.

_It's him!_ Sakura thought, bolting upright. His eyes were hidden under dark, dull strands of hair that fell over his downturned head. She stiffened as the great Zo shut the door behind him, took a few more heavy steps forwards, and seemed to finally notice she was there.

His eyes met hers. The green ones were defiant; the brown were glossy. Zo approached the bed and crashed on top of it, so that his whole front sank into the soft cover. Sakura scrutinized the opponent;

Despite previous judgments, he was a rather large man in build. He was older than Kakashi-Sensei for sure, but clearly in an age where his strength was prime. The stench of strong sake leaked off of his clothes and his breath. Sakura sat and watched him stretch out. Rikchi Zo threw out an arm, and her breath hitched as it flung over her. All over again, he became aware of the small girl's presence.

"_Get out_," Rikchi commanded with heavy, slurred words.

_What? _Sakura didn't need to be told twice. She slipped off of the bed, gliding in her blue silk robe, and darted to the door. She cast a look back at Rikchi, who's deep breathing indicated an alcohol-induced sleep. It was no drug; this man was just a lush.

She freed herself, closing the door behind her, and scurried down the hallway.

Sakura couldn't remember running so fast, in such an adrenaline-infused rush since her search for Sasuke in Orochimaru's compound. That's what the escape reminded her of. Just as she was about to round the corner—heart beat halting in suspense of what lied just beyond it, a figure popped into view.

Kakashi halted, wide-eyed. Their shock at each other's presence masked the real feeling of relief.

"…Sensei." That breath she didn't know she was even holding exhaled from her open mouth when she addressed him. She finally noticed that his stiffness meant he was waiting for an explanation.

So did it happen or not?

"He kicked me out. He came back wasted, and I guess he just wants to sleep..." The look in Kakashi's eye didn't escape her. Someone sighed, but neither owned up to the sound of relief.

* * *

><p>Returned to the temporary haven that was Zo's "generous" guest suite, Sakura felt safe again.<p>

"I'm going to sleep here for tonight," she said, searching for her pack so she could change clothes. Unfortunately, that servant girl still held her normal wear captive.

"No, I'm afraid you'll have to sleep outside," Kakashi remarked sarcastically at her blunt statement, wondering why she spoke in a tone of request. The irony in his voice seemed to snap her out of a daze. He couldn't help but eye her over—he had to check on his student. From the outside Sakura seemed okay, except for…

"That blue doesn't particularly suit you."

"Oh? This?" She looked down. From the start her soft skin crawled with the desire to shrug out of the stupid yukata. "I know, it's hideous on me. I'm changing." He politely turned away as she slipped into new clothing, whatever remained in her pack. With his back turned, Kakashi debriefed her:

"I plan on interrogating Jiro on the location of Zo's intel. Zo was truly careless in employing him; I get the sense that he may be after something too but is too afraid to go after it. He has the knowledge, and extracting it shouldn't be too difficult." An air of threat lined the undertone of his impassive voice.

Sakura listened, her back still turned. She listened to him rattle off about the mission.

"Tomorrow night, while you distract Zo, I will infiltrate the target location."

"Will we infiltrate when you find out where the scroll is?"

"No, I will. You will need to play your role." So the escape wasn't really an escape. It was a postponement. She turned around with a smile that could have rivaled Sai's in fakeness. The Jounin studied his former student before saying,

"Maybe you should get some rest, Sakura." Her smile didn't fade.

"Yeah, I will."

With no warning, tears began spilling down her cheeks in an unexpected cascade. She didn't even try holding them back. They were unexpected even for her—but the inexplicable fear and dismay towards the nonchalance of the situation hit her. Kakashi's surprise manifested itself in a raised eyebrow and thinly concerned tone.

"Sakura…" The smile faded into a grimace.

She wiped her eyes brashly with an arm, but it did nothing to stop the fresh flow of tears. She bowed her head, pink strands falling around her face and sticking to her wet cheeks.

"I'm fine."

Even though her fists and teeth were clenched, even though her face was contorted in the effort to hold back tears, and even though her pride and integrity were close to dissipating in the eyes on her casually uncaring sensei…. She was—

A shadow shifted on the floor, spreading towards her like spilled milk until it was under her eyes. Sakura looked up slightly until she was level with Kakashi's shoulder. He stood directly before her.

Sakura felt a hand on her head.

_I'm not a genin anymore. _

It slid to her shoulder and squeezed it firmly.

"I'm sorry. I just don't want to do this. I don't want my only use to be…" Sakura choked. She was surprised the Jonin's hand remained in place as he spoke words to the top of her head. Now, he tone was gentle; purged of the indifference that frustrated her so deeply.

"Sakura. You're worth is far beyond the purpose of this mission. If that's what you're worried about then you can forget it." She tensed when he invalidated her feelings. For a moment she wanted him to be her Sensei—the man who put his students as ease by assuring them he would always be there to protect them. He was so much _stronger _than them, _smarter _than them. He could protect them.

"You know I believe we're equals, now."

The words temporarily stunned her—suddenly her tears ceased. She was beaming through shining green eyes, and when she looked up, he was too.

She couldn't tell that Kakashi's light spirit was nearly as laden with burden as hers. Watching a student and friend fall victim to the enemy without being there to protect her was maddening in more ways than one, not that he would easily admit it. All he could do was confront the face of a breakdown and veer it in the opposite direction before all focus was lost. He did hope she knew that he meant his words...

When she looked up, his gaze was slightly off. His eye line wandered somewhere below her eyes, but before she could identify the exact location where they lingered he withdrew his comforts.

* * *

><p>After diffusing situation, and Sakura's strong emotions, they found themselves in bed. Sakura—because she would rather sleep and re-energize than stay up worrying, and Kakashi because we wanted to read. Unsurprisingly, the pinkette had a hard time convincing her mind to harmoniously shut down with her weary body.<p>

"Sensei? Are you up because you're keeping watch?"

"Ah." Sakura rolled over on her back and sat up.

"Do you want to sleep? I can't. Let me."

"No, I plan on interrogating Jiro later." When she remained upright, staring at some space on the bed, he told her to go to sleep like a resistant child. Unable to comply, she shook heard. The way her jaw set determinedly and focus on that spot suggested that she had something to say.

Kakashi was either patient, or uninterested in luring it out of her.

_Sakura, if you're going to do this… Just do it, _she told herself.

Sakura had been giving a lot of thought to what she was about to say next. In truth, "a lot" was an understatement. It would be false to say that her thoughts in the past few days did not mostly involve the Copy Nin that settled casually beside her. The force behind these thoughts, she couldn't decipher. Was it the mission that caused these forced, strange feelings that built inside her and tugged at her like a nagging string? Or was it something born beforehand, a deep sense of trust and admiration for Kakashi she had always fostered… Did that help her say the words that would tumble from her mouth next?

Feeling helpless would not suffice. Naruto taught her that. A calm fierceness settled in her chest that would have made that blonde boy proud (or dead shocked at her next move). Sakura had no more intentions of relinquishing control to the saddest fate-she was going to do something about.

"Kakashi!"

It was the lack of suffix that caught his attention. The said man perked up a little. She left out the "sensei" for a reason. She wanted to address him as her equal.

"Hm?"

"I-I need your help with this. I escaped this time but I'm not prepared for my role in this mission. I need your help."

Kakashi's weary glance caught the pink haired girl's attention. Nonetheless he sighed, and closed the red book he shamelessly had been reading moments before (Sakura knew this was a good sign, but wondered why he continued to read it next to her when he knew she finally understood what it was. In the genin days, his students were clueless to its erotic content).

"Well, Sakura, what do you want to know?" She only hesitated for a moment. _Knowing _had nothing to do with it. She shook her head.

"Will you take my virginity?" Sakura burst out.

There was a pause, as the words were registered, and he looked at her as if he hadn't heard right. Because he couldn't have heard her right? But Kakashi, like a hound, had sharp ears and they were a little on the large side. He heard her right.

Sakura watched him tense with surprise.

"No. I will not do that Sakura. Although I can understand-" which he hardly could-"the context in which you might ask, that is not appropriate-"

He could hardly believe that she actually pushed the matter and interrupted-"It's for the sake of the mission! If I'm doing my part, and that's not considered improper, then-"

"I think we both know that what you are suggesting goes beyond the scope of this mission." He stared at her sharply, and she returned his gaze, unabashed. Behind her fierce green eyes, her mind relentlessly tried to figure out the meaning of his last statement. Technically the action of preparing her for sexual intercourse fit perfectly to the mission—so he must be alluding to their relationship. But which relationship, exactly?

Student, teacher? That must be frowned upon, but she knew Kakashi wasn't much for rules and he was technically no longer her active teacher. Their long-standing, strong friendship? Would that somehow complicate feelings between them, feelings of camaraderie or others that may exist? Teamwork? The more Sakura thought about this, the more she became convinced it made perfect sense.

"Outside the scope of the mission… well, exactly. This whole damned mission is outside the scope of what I asked for, and now I have to deal with it! You know… I knew I wasn't going to live a regular life," Sakura said. "I still at least thought… even if the "first time" wasn't going to be special, I thought I'd get to choose. There's no honor in giving myself up to the enemy, someone who stands against the village I'm giving myself for. I'll do it but my very first time.. just to minimize the pain of it… Why can't it be with someone I've trusted and respected this whole time!"

Her words caught Kakashi off-guard, but she forced him to listen to every strained word of her insistent voice.

"If I had to choose, why wouldn't I offer myself to the only _man _I can say never hurt me, that I trust with something like this? This is exactly within the scope of this mission!" Sakura tore herself away from her complacent position and whirled around to face him, balancing on her knees. The fire in her eyes matched the venom and pleading her voice.

For a second, Kakashi thought she looked as if she were about to _pounce_; the way she chewed her bottom lip… He slid off and sat at the side of the bed, his go-to move when he wanted to put distance in between them. His head was bent and he seemed to be thinking hard.

It was an anchor that grounded him back to earth when she told him that it was he that she trusted the most, he who had never hurt her. Although she knew her duty as a ninja and his, this held true. Then how could he complacently give up that role and let her be taken completely by the one he normally guarded her against?

She wasn't asking for protection, he saw. She was asking for trust and a kind of camaraderie that he never considered before. He never reared students before, so he couldn't know what happened when that title was outgrown.

"Kaka—"

What a different and new role he played in their lives, now.

"Listen, Sakura," he cut in sharply. She stopped her tirade abruptly. His voice always had an edge or authority, or something in his tone that made her submit to listening.

"I have been thinking about an alternative in case you couldn't follow through, but I didn't think it was necessary as its method is just as slimy as the original. I don't mean not following through your encounter with Zo-I know you can, but I really didn't know the extent of your worry until now. And for that, I apologize. I should have known. And after your… request, now I know you might be open to this alternate way."

"What are you talking about?" The piqued tone her in voice enforced her interest.

"If I can extract information on the location of the scrolls tonight, Zo will still need to be distracted while we infiltrate. Instead of your original role, it's possible I can cast a genjustu and project the scenario instead of actually going through with it." Sakura inched closer, absorbed in the theory and intrigued by the fact that he thought of this for her before. But as a jonin and professional, she couldn't sit right with this. She had to tell him.

"But a Genjutsu won't fool Zo. He'll see right through it. He's top ranked."

"Yes. I'm not talking about an ordinary genjutsu… I will execute it with help from the Sharigan. I'll cast the illusion so thick that he truly won't be able to distinguish dream from reality. It's the only way."

His mood did not leaven when Sakura perked up considerably. With her intelligence, he knew she would soon realize…

"That's incredible!" the smile on her face was genuine. "But Sensei, there has to be a drawback or else we would have done this in the first place. Why not mention this before?" She thought hard about this—why did it only bring it up after her own proposal? She waited impatiently for his answer.

"If this is going to damage the Sharingan or hurt you in some way then forget—"

"It's not that. If that were the case it would have been the plan from the beginning." He shifted uneasily and sighed again. "The drawback is, the illusions have to contain clear, _real _detail from each of the five senses. Conjuring up torture genjutsu is easy—I've seen and experienced that before. But this, Sakura. It has to be real."

"So what needs to happen?"

"If I form the jutsu without truly knowing these details—sight, sound, touch, all of it, it will manifest itself. The illusion will have moment he sees the weakness in the genjutsu he can break it. So, to make it as real as possible _I _will need to know some things... the senses, for myself…"

The bed flattened a little as Sakura scooted forward and slid next to Kakashi in a sitting position.

"That's fine. It's for the mission," she stated evenly, looking him. Matching her gaze, Kakashi could tell that she wasn't his little student anymore. She was capable of being professional, too. She clearly already knew what he meant, and accepted the terms. It was less than her brash request for a crash course in... well, intercourse. But in essence, he would still have to gather enough experience enough to color in the lines of the genjutsu. Defeat reflected on his face.

_So… _Kakashi thought. _How to break this in…_

He flashed her a friendly smile. "First, I'll need to see you blush."

Sakura blushed just from the implications of his command, and then from blushing in front of him. She hated doing that, and looked down out of embarrassment. When the heat faded and she looked back up, she saw he didn't look satisfied. He had slightly slipped down his mask to study her every reaction with both eyes.

It was unnerving.

"No, well, maybe you're misunderstanding. You need to do better than that. Don't just blush because you're embarrassed," he said. As they sat side-by-side, Sakura was acutely aware that nothing would escape his eyes.

"I'm not!" she protested, not wanting to seem timid or too innocent. Tsunade hadn't only taught her strength-she taught her to be a woman. And how to handle liquor.

"Blush again." She huffed, a little annoyed. Sakura's distress over the order made it hard for her to blush out of anything other than being indignant. A little heat rose to her cheeks, but it was weak. Kakashi sighed, a sound that pissed her off even more. He would sigh like that back when her rank was only genin, and she would fawn over Sasuke or fail in training over something stupid.

"I can't," she told sternly. "Can't we just skip this step?"

"How can I move forward if you can't even just blush?" She gawked, realized he was right, and then looked down in defeat. Sakura stared at her thighs—left mostly exposed from the short, black spandex shorts she wore under a plain shirt (all that remained in her pack).

Kakashi rested a hand on her leg, bare the fingerless glove he usually wore throughout the day. She hoped he didn't notice her flinch as the unexpected contact and whipped her head up for explanation.

Ah, she understood uncomfortably. What he was doing was trying to make her face pink. And it worked. To Sakura's frustration, he still did not look satisfied.

"I'm not clear enough. You need to blush like… you're excited. A flush, as they say," he said as if she could do this on command.

_A _sex _flush, _Sakura thought dismally, still super sensitive to the hand that lied on her leg.

"I can't," she said stubbornly. Couldn't and wouldn't. She didn't want to face Kakashi's intolerant expression, and hoped he wouldn't merely withdraw this special "training". Fortunately, he must have cared too much—but it didn't mean he wouldn't get what he needed from her The fine hair on the back of her neck raised as the hand slid further up her bare leg, resting on her thigh. She could tell that he still watched her face expectantly. She was too confused and petrified to blush like he wanted. Some kind of hazy feeling was washing over her. Her Sensei's hand rested on her thigh: who could have predicted they one day would be in this situation?

Sakura squirmed a little, being subconsciously resistant. A deep, slow voice spoke near her ear.

"Sakura… Don't make me _make _you." Something came over her when she head him _say _that and speak that way to her, but it wasn't a blush. He slid his hand more to her inner thigh and upwards. Kakashi finally produced the result he desired.

A prominent red flush covered her face, neck and shoulders, tingling on her skin. She looked to him in surprise at how easily he managed to change her.

"There we go." The husky tone changed into his usual, friendly one. "Now… uh, I need you to moan."

"Sensei!"

"For the jutsu, it's necessary," he reminded her blandly. Sakura averted eye contact and opted to stare at the wall and she contemplated both how she wanted to perish into thin air and how to produce a moan.

"_Ooh," _was some strangled sound that came out of her lips, halfway between an "oh" and a whimper of reluctance. Kakashi, of course, looked more and more unimpressed.

"Sakura."

She tried again, the next attempt even lamer.

"Zo would discard you without blinking if that's how you sound in bed."

_Bite your tounge, _she told herself. _He's trying to get you riled up._

The jounin continued, "Why don't you imagine you are being—"

"Kakashi forget it. I'm not moaning." Sakura told him flatly, still glaring at the wall and thinking about the hand that rested on her. She heard an impatient sound from the jounin, but didn't care. Maybe getting it on with Zo would be less embarrassing than this.

"Please, Sakura… Do I have to make you?" She wasn't sure whether her sharp inhale was audible or not. Did he just threaten to _make _her moan? Her body picked up on the hand between her legs again, nervous. How many women from the village would kill to have Kakashi issue them that warning? Some kind of cockiness entered her veins, wondering with great curiosity how far Kakashi planned on going.

"_Make _me," she goaded. Apparently, he didn't fall through with his threats.

That hand her body paid so much attention to slid up her thigh with unwarranted quickness, before she could really react. Her blush deepened, but that wasn't going to make her moan. Sensing this, his hand didn't stop there. Sakura's legs began to squeeze together, but not before the hand made it to the end of the race. One finger brushed an incredibly sensitive spot.

Sakura gasped. The finger stroked again. She flushed with warmth and _moaned_.

"_Like that_," Kakashi said to her ear, now turned completely to her. Her mouth was open slightly, overwhelmed by this feeling.

She had moaned for him. Why did this feel so _good_?

"Louder," he commanded. The finger applied more pressure to that particular spot, caressing it with a slow pace. Sakura tilted her head back and another moan escaped her lips. She felt out of her own body, hearing herself like that. His finger wriggled a little faster—

Her hand caught his wrist, squeezing, but he didn't stop.

"Louder," Kakashi repeated a little breathlessly. He pushed his fingers harder and faster.

"_Ah_!" she cried in what could not be anything else but the pleasure that surged through her body. She wanted him to stop because she felt herself losing control, but she was him to go faster, too. Sakura moaned louder. He was nearly done getting the sounds he wanted from her, but one or two more things lied ahead. He pushed forward gently and she fell into the bed, lying on her back so that he hovered over her.

"Sorry about this," he muttered quietly, keeping up his fingerwork so that she might be distracting as he slid a hand under her shirt and rested on her breast. That move had an effect he hadn't braced himself for; there was no shout of protest, accusations og being a pervert, or a chakra-infused punch to the face.

"_Kakashi,_" Sakura moaned.

The Copy Nin stumbled. _That _ was not a part of the plan. He didn't need her to moan _his_ name, if anything ithsould have been Zo's (which he hoped she would actually never do). She moaned his name again, and he panicked a little.

"Sakura, _don't._" he grunted in her ear. If she wasn't careful, he might just give her what she asked for and fulfill her first request. It was hard to ignore the way she felt under his hands and the way his loose black pants tightened.

"_Kakashi…" _she didn't stop, and each drawn out call of his name incited him to touch her more and faster despite himself, drawing the words out of her mouth. He never meant for it to escalate this far. Kakashi had one last move to make, but he also knew he was in danger of driving her over the edge.

Without permission he slipped his hand under the tight material of her shorts and inserted a finger inside of her; it slid in easily because, to his partial amusement (and restrained arousal) she was very wet. She gasped and under him her body arched. She couldn't focus or understand these shroud of chilling sensations that covered her. Nothing really registered except the feeling of desire and the feeling of attachment to the figure before her. He pushed in deeper and stroked with a come-hither motion before withdrawing.

Sakura suddenly felt a warm surge explode through her body.

_Oh… _

From her reaction, Kakashi realized he must have inadvertently stroked her g-spot. He watched almost hungrily as her body spasmed and she cried out, free from control.

She was left tingling, blinking with the vision in her peripheries blurred. Drinking in that appearance-Sakura's hair splayed messily over her face and the sheets—the eminent glow covering her supple skin…

Kakashi got more than what he wanted or knew how to deal with.

"That's it," he said with an air of finality and attempted detachment as he withdrew from their close position.

In a few moments Sakura pushed herself to an upright position and withdrew her legs, unable to register exactly was just happened. She felt warm and _good _in every fiber of her body. From the medical textbooks, she guessed what Kakashi inwardly confirmed.

Kakashi had just given his student her first orgasm.

"That's it," she echoed hollowly. Something inside her felt a deep sense of betrayal—to herself. How could her body be so quick to respond to his touch? The wetness, the flush, the desire of her body ignored the protest of her brain. And what was worse, Sakura knew that it wasn't just the touch that sent her off the edge; it was exactly the thought of he who was touching her in way he did.

Sakura felt like she had this to hide more than any feelings of embarrassment the act produced. Forget the implications—Kakashi _could not_ suspect that fact. She settled back onto the bed in her usual position, a little speechless.

Kakashi resumed his position and cracked out the familiar orange book. He didn't know why he tortured himself with Icha Icha, as there was no possibility for him to get relief tonight. The jounin drew up his knees and pulled over the covers to casually hide the one sign that maybe Sakura hadn't been the only participant aroused. Although with her medic background, he was sure that she would understand. It was an automatic response…

It had nothing to do with the absolute satisfaction gained from stealing her breath away and sending her writhing in pleasure. Obviously.

As he leaned back, one more thing occurred to him before he used his finger to flip a delicate page. He lowered his mask for a fraction of a second. Kakashi popped the finger in his mouth.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" He heard a monster roar beside him, the urgency and distress of the voice nearly sending him over the bed corner. He removed the finger and glanced to the girl on his left. Sakura adorned the face of someone who watched their newborn kitten fall into a well of sharks. Horrified did not fully describe the enigma she exuded.

"Hm?"

"That's gross! Why would you…"

For some reason, that last act felt more of a violation to Sakura than anything that happened previously. The fact that her bodily fluids had just been ingested by her ex-teacher's mouth… which she had never actually seen before, it was just _so, so personal. _She was hardly distracted at the sneak-peak of his face.

"The last sense: taste."

"But why would you need…!" Not only was the girl angry, she was also super-self-conscious. That was nothing she was prepared for! What if she tasted… To her chagrin, Kakashi actually chuckled.

"I'm sure Zo would claim that part of you. It's a common sexual act." he stated monotonously. On the inside, he would kick himself later. He really should stop acting on impulse around her, but sexual impulses were hard to intercept. He had almost dissociated from the act until her indignity made him consider just how personal it was.

"Kakashi… men are gross."

He deflated.

Sakura turned around, filled with all of the sitmulation she could handle for one day, and set her thoughts on sleep. And on the man in bed beside her. At least her virginity was preserved, if all went well. One thing troubled her that she hadn't quite accounted for in her episode of "firsts".

_He never kissed me,_ she realized.

* * *

><p><strong>What cha think?<strong>

**review?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Holey Moley** you guys. You were just WAITING for that KakaSaku moment, weren't you? I'm feeling the pressure. After that barrage of wonderful reviews, I'm slightly intoxicated with love for y'all and slightly overwhelmed. Based off of those reviews, I have a slew of things to address. If you don't care about all that, feel free to skip to the latest installment. You may wanna check back later.

**1) Love. **I love your reviews, thank you SO much. You can blame a certain someone for the delayed-ness of this chapter; He/she sent me an amazing list of Kakasaku's out there and I read like all of "The Window" in one day. Ps-Duty before Honor and Stripped Bare inspired this fic. Also, I'm so in love with the reviewers who tell me about their reactions to the fic-it's so funny! THANK YOU ALL.

**2) Apologies. **One of you pointed out the typos in the fic. I've looked back to read this and noticed all of them, and they are distracting. I'm sorry. when I began writing this fic I never intended to publish it, so that's why it's a bit sloppier in the beginning. That said, I'm also sorry for the **inconsistencies. **I might have called Sakura a jonin once, but she's a chuunin in this fic. :( Hopefully you don't catch too many errors.

**3) Direction. **Please don't expect another update really soon. I'm just getting into the relationship building aspect of the fic. It worries me when some of you say "this is off to a good start" because I'm on chapter 9 and we are way over the start. I know this may seem slow for some of you, but I insist on trying to remain as in-character as possible. I can't conceive of a realistic BAM! Hot and heavy KakaSaku right off the bat unless the relationship was built only on passion (which could work.) But I'm on chapter nine and I know I have to get the good stuff rollin'! Thanks for reading.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

**Violation**

The next night, Rikichi Zo did not repeat his mistake of over-indulging in alcohol. He remembered that another sort of indulgence waited for him bed, a morsel the man had been waiting to sample since he first set his bloodshot eyes on the pink delicacy. It truly marked the first time in years that someone brought him a girl who had light in her eyes and colored hair. She didn't look half-dead or defeated like the rest of the prostitutes dragged in his bedroom.

Even if her years extended beyond his usual preference, his appetite called for something fresh. A young girl at night was sometimes the only distraction from the cold-blooded work executed during the day. Sometimes they were for relief. Sometimes they were for punching bags.

Rikchi opened the door to his quarters, still slightly lethargic from his warm buzz. He stepped inside with a careless stride. As expected, the damsel lay sunk into his bed. When the girl spotted him, she leaned up and beckoned him closer with a lustful leer.

The man wasted no time in heading to bed. The moment he approached, this ravenous blush spread across her face and chest: she was so innocent, just waiting to be purged. What man in the world could resist a flush like that? Her skin so brilliantly pink with desire, complimenting her short hair… _Delicious_.

It seemed _too _perfect. Despite some budding doubt, Rikchi Zo gravitated towards his prize.

Sakura remained crouched on the ground, absolutely silent by Kakashi's feet. When she glanced upwards she could see a purplish red colour flood one of his eyes, accented with peculiar commas morphing into a design that looked faintly familiar and dangerous. His hands formed a seal by chest—a sign for genjutsu.

Her breath caught in her throat when Rikchi Zo entered. After a few steps in the room he stumbled, paused, and straightened with a new posture. The suspense washed over her as they waited to see if he really was under the effect of the genjutsu. He strode over to the foot of the bed, and stood there with a blanketed stare.

* * *

><p>"Sensei?" she whispered as softly as she could.<p>

"Got him."

She pushed herself to her feet, eyes transfixed on the enemy and wondering about the fantasy that immersed him; whatever it was made him sway lightly on his feet. She wondered how Kakashi felt with her beside him, replaying that sexual episode with the pinkette in mind.

No matter.

"Sedate him. Don't be rough," Kakashi ordered in a strained tone. The medic approached the target and produced a needle from her pouch. The fluid swishing in the capsule's body showed a special sedative drug she brought along in her kit.

_This is payback for drugging Kakashi-Sensei, _she thought, patiently sticking the needle in the back of his arm. She chose the location wisely; When Zo awoke, he would not notice the raised mark caused by the sticking.

"Good, Sakura. Now back up." She finished administering the dose and turned her back. It shocked her to see that the Copy Nin's left eye bled a dark liquid that trickled down his cheek. Before Sakura could point it out, Rikchi slumped over and fell onto the bed.

Kakashi broke the jutsu and Sakura marveled. Only her teacher could cast a genjutsu powerful enough to subdue a ninja of Zo's class (except, maybe, for Sasuke—the Sharigan played a key part in that power).

"What now?" she asked, still wary of his eye. He brushed away the blood like he brushed away her concern.

"Leave him. Killing him is nowhere in our mission detail. Undoubtedly his death would leave the surrounding villages susceptible to the consequences. How long will he be out?"

"The average person is sedated for an hour."

"I give it half. You stay here and watch him for signs up waking up. I will retrieve the scroll." Kakashi already turned his heel when Sakura prompted him for more information.

"And when he starts to wake up?"

"It should be over by then. If he starts to wake up at first he will think he fell asleep. But afterwards, I wouldn't put it past him to be suspicious. In that case, take the most appropriate action." His words were calculating but hurried, as if he were impatient to depart.

Sakura didn't know what "the most appropriate action" entailed. Was she to seek out Kakashi, or curl up next to Zo and pretend she had the greatest sex of her life? In a second Kakashi was gone. His lack of elaboration was not surprising to her considering how desperate he seemed to leave.

Still, she felt satisfied with the progress of the mission. In minutes Kakashi would be in the act of recovering the scroll with minimal resistance, all because these bandits were unaccustomed enemies. Power swelled their heads. And Sakura—she smiled. Despite her initial resignations about Kakashi's apathy, he had still come through for her.

Time and time again, he came through for her.

_Instead of sorting out your feelings, maybe you should be keeping watch, _her conscious chided. Pushing thoughts of the Copy Nin aside, Sakura stepped to the doorway, listening for any signs of struggle.

* * *

><p>Missions do not often proceed as expected, and sometimes the end is only the beginning.<p>

Something hard gripped the back of Sakura's neck. Later, purple bruises would imprint onto the sight, eventually turning red and becoming a huge nuisance until she found the time to heal them; they would look like hickeys.

Hickeys were the least of her worries, now. Now, a bigger nuisance faced the medic. The crude hands belonged to the man formerly unconscious behind her.

"What the fuck were you trying to pull?" Rikchi Zo growled unpleasantly into her ear. She heard every one distinctly despite the blood pounding in her ears. "You're obviously more than some orphan prostitute. Nothing I can't break." She believed him. If Zo could overpower an insurmountably potent sedative and sneak up on a ninja, he could sure as hell do some damage to a chuunin.

This was bitter-sweet. Instead of a shameless screw, Sakura now knew that her fate would become an evil punishment. There was no way to get to Kakashi, now, and calling out for him could blow their cover—especially if he was in the process of recovering the scroll. After all, Zo was still clueless regarding their affiliation with the Leaf and his personal policy seemed to be "fight first and ask questions later".

The moment she was caught Sakura knew her role and inherited it decisively. She would be the scapegoat.

Sakura whirled around and dealt a chakra-laden punch to his head, which he effortlessly dodged without even being aware of the severity the impact would have. Immediately she sensed, although Zo overcame the drug, he was still much slower and sluggish under its effects. Maybe she had a slim chance.

With clenched teeth Sakura dashed for the exit, but too easily his hand caught her ankle. She tripped and greeted the floor, _hard. _In the midst of the struggle her first vision came alive. Kicking and cursing, he dragged Sakura into the center of the room as if she were a child's plaything. He picked her up by the front fabric of her yukata and dashed her into clumsily into the wall. To him, Sakura's was a feather's stem.

She felt something in her back crack on impact, and she slid down limply.

_I can't give up. I need to stall him as long as possible and protect what's precious…_

And at that moment, a certain silver-haired jonin crackled through her thoughts. The status of her virginity was secondary. But yes, she wanted to protect that, too.

ZO wretched her down to lie on the hard floor and drew her into the space under his legs. He unwrapped her like a piece of fine chocolate. Like a man who had a fetish for sweets. And had been starving for days.

She could do little to cover up her nudity, as her hands were battered away like fruit flies. Dirty nails raked across her body and she couldn't stifle a scream from tearing out of her lips. It was not a cry for help, but a scream of protest and rage.

The struggle seemed to make it worth it for Zo. A kick to his gut didn't make him blink in irritation, let alone flinch in pain. Using his large and lean frame he was easily able to pin her down.

Sakura had never felt more vulnerable and disgusted and disappointed as she lay helplessly naked. For a moment she stopped struggling. There was nothing magical or appreciative in the dark eyes that scanned the girl in her most natural state.

A rough hand gravitated to the softest part of her chest for a quick feel: his groping wasn't very gentle. Then Sakura did what she wanted to do the first day she laid eyes on the monster.

She spit in his face.

Losing control of your emotions was clearly against the ninja handbook—right before goading your enemies when you were on the losing end. Sakura didn't _care_—getting your clothes plucked off and groped by a bigger pervert than Kakashi and Jiraiya combined wasn't in the rulebook, either.

But the former was in print probably for a good reason. That mistake warranted some regret. A high status guy like Rikchi didn't receive disrespect warmly. The first sign was a howl of anger and the second was torture.

He lowered his head to her chest and _bit _her. Sakura screamed, feeling the bite in a place usually completely foreign from that kind of pain. He didn't let up until he shifted his attention to her other breast and bit her as well.

Sakura's screams would even give the servant girl nightmares as they permeated through the walls and carried down the hall.

Water glazed over her eyes, but the girl didn't let them fall. She was a chunin, too—that rank did hold some value. Sakura could handle torture.

"You like that, don't you? Scream for me again."

For a millisecond, the command vaguely reminded Sakura of Kakashi's ridiculously demand that she moan for him. Disregarding the awkwardness of that circumstance, even the faint thought of the man she had spent the night with before, whose touch was nothing like this, warmed her with courage and made it a little more bearable.

But she couldn't rely on him forever.

At last a truly horrible feeling invaded her. Sakura's boy tensed in pain and understanding at what Zo had just done; a violation that felt _so _wrong.

Kakashi's fingers hadn't made her feel that way. Zo's fingers felt like kunai as he jabbed one inside of her. She wasn't wet.

She clenched her teeth and he watched with pleasure as her body writhed. When he used two digits, the shouting and crying began. Everything in Sakura's mind faded away and was replaced with indignant agony. She wanted him _out._

"S-Stop!" she screamed. "Get AWAY FROM ME!" The extra noise disturbed the fantasy he concocted in his mind, so Zo severed the screams with one hand. He clamped it around her neck. Her voice stifled, and so did her shaky breaths.

_I can't go out like this… I won't… _Everything became fuzzy. She wondered if even a man like Zo wasn't above necrophilia. Her wrist ached under a tight grip and her arm was yanked forward. Eyes slightly open, she could just make out the sadistic pleasure painted on this ugly man's face. Now, he looked intent, sharp, and in need.

Sakura realized with blunted disgust that he was bringing her hand to his pants. He loosened his waistband and shoved her hand inside—not yet under the layer of an undergarment she was surprised he wore. The minor sensation of her touch momentarily relaxed Zo's grasp around her neck.

Sakura wasted no time.

Gathering every last ounce of chakra she had into her one hand, the medic released a concentrated blast of the chakra onto the nearest extremity—Zo's package, which just happened to be the most sensitive part on a man's body.

Even his screams were louder than hers—the servant girl would dream about those, too. With a weak push she was able to shove him off her body. She wanted to scramble away, but no strength was left. Mental or physical.

The urgency to escape dissipated; a look to the left revealed an unconscious body in a ball on the floor, probably in shock. She would be surprised if she hadn't blasted off his bits completely—and all the girls to come in the future could thank her for that.

Now all Sakura wanted was…

Blackness seeped into the edge of her vision until her eyesight resembled the lens of unfocused binoculars. Her pink head thudded back against the floor and she could only lay there.

_Kakashi… _The thought was more a wish or hope than anything else. Just then, a shooting star must have passed in the sky overheard.

When the door opened, she knew the forever late ninja was here. And maybe that wasn't such a great thing, given her current tattered state.

"Sakura!" The voice echoed in her ears. Through all these years, the girl hardly ever heard him speak her name with such intensity… Concern, worry, distress, rage? Sakura slipped out of the realm of consciousness, peacefully.

* * *

><p><strong>A bit violent I know. Reviews? Please?<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

I finished this up a little early and decided up update sooner than I normally would! Plus, a bunch of you were angry about the cliff-hanger (which I didn't even consider a cliff-hanger). So, here you go.

**Omg ****10th chapter. **I can't believe it's gone this far and I'm going to finish this fic (in such a short time-record for me. Shows how much I adore KakaSaku, I suppose.) Just a warning: **the end is in sight!** Not totally soon, but after they return to the village, the ending is acomin'. And stormy weather is ahead.

Thank you so much for everyone who reviewed.

One more thing: SHOUT OUT. **OMFJS **is the greatest thing I've ever heard (Oh My Effin Jashin-Sama). If I can get those reactions from you with this fic, I'll write a billion. love it.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10: Reasons to Flinch<br>**

It was the swaying rhythm that persuaded her to keep her eyes shut for a period long after she awoke. It was soothing: the air whipping by her ears and the source of some solid, radiating warmth pressed against her. It wasn't until a sharp pain gradually intercepted the medley of sensations that she roused into real consciousness. It was a very sharp and sore pain springing from between her legs.

Sakura instinctively squeezed her legs tighter, but she was only creating a stronger vice against whatever they wrapped around. It was time to open her eyes and stop ignoring the nightmarish reality she left hours earlier.

"… Kaka… Sensei?"

Sakura slowly opened her eyes to found herself flying through the trees at an an ultimate speed. Her body was wrapped around Kakashi in an inverse piggyback—with one arm draped lazily around his shoulder and the other against her thigh, both of which stretched around his sides. What amazed Sakura was that she could sit in this position comfortably with little support from her own body—Kakashi carried her this way.

An audible "hm" of acknowledgment escaped from the man supporting her like a fragile bundle. He looked down. Some emotion flashed across his eyes but it was too quick for her to discern.

"I'm sorry, Sakura. I needed my hands for a moment."

Kakashi referred to the current, complicated position. Sakura inwardly questioned if she restricted his breathing with how tightly her whole body clasped around him. Really only a thin layer of unknown black cotton separated them—she had no clue when this oversized long-sleeve materialized onto her body. That and her black spandex capris were her only covers. Even her binding was missing, she noted painfully as she felt the front of her body and bare chest press against his with every leap.

It was all setting in.

In one fluid maneuver the jounin managed to shift the girl onto his back, unknowingly make her grimace in discomfort. To Sakura's chagrin, all the aches in her body screamed out, especially the one between her legs. She involuntarily clenched them while on his back, and soon enough the lack of oxygen escaping through Kakashi's suffocating middle prompted him to speak up.

"Are you okay?"

"Ah…"

A sudden dip and dodge—Kakashi changed pace in the speed of Chidori's lightening.

"We're under attack by a follower—but as soon as we make it out of the borders they'll stop pursuing. It was Akito."

"Sensei… did you get it?"

"Yes," the Copy Nin confirmed. Her concerns were tucked away with the scroll inside his pack. In a softer tone he added, "I couldn't have done it without you."

Sakura guessed that they had finally crossed the borders when Kakashi slowed his pace. She felt somewhat powerful, freeloading on the back of one of Konoha's most powerful ninja. A rush of affection swept over the girl when she realized that Kakashi was OK, too.

Drained from fatigue and the brutality of their pace, she could do little more than bury her head in his shoulder. "Can we please take a short break?" she whispered.

"I had every intention once we crossed the border. I will find a safe place."

A safe place was a tiny break in the density of the forest. A road was nowhere in sight from the thick trunks of the trees. Kakashi dropped down from the canopy and carried them to the base of a particular large tree with some arboreal fungus twisting around its body. A faint trickling sound indicated there might be a brook nearby.

Once his feet alighted on the ground, Kakashi lowered into a crouch to allow his subordinate freedom from her sloth-like position. Sakura muttered some form of thanks and braced herself. The ground was a hostile force against her feet. Her legs felt incredibly shaky.

"What happened, Sensei?" Kakashi stood up straight and faced his former students.

"The scroll is recovered. When I infiltrated Zo's stash of stolen objects, I found it easily thanks to Jiro. However I ran into Akito on the way out—probably tipped off by Jiro in the first place. He was more formidable than I thought, which is why it took me so long to get back to you. But I need to know… what happened, Sakura? Are you alright?"

For a long moment she was silent, and Kakashi began to take it as a confirmation of his fears. He cursed himself for his lateness. The same tardiness that he inherited from the death of a loved one almost became the cause for the death of another. It was a trait he had always hated for its content and loved for its origin.

"Thank you, for this…" Sakura murmured, tugging at the humorously oversized shirt. He replied with a short "ah", signifying that that was not the answer to his question, although her nakedness was something he hoped she might explain. He hoped that the trust between them was built up enough as to not cause her any embarrassment as well.

"I don't want to talk about it right now," Sakura said. His brow furrowed and Sakura turned her cheek, searching for a place to sit down. Her first step resembled that of a newborn deer—pain shot up her leg and it wobbled. Her body would not let her forget the trauma it endured such a short time ago. Her unsure, amateur movements didn't go unnoticed by Kakashi.

She fumbled and after a blink of surprise Kakashi was before her, reaching out a hand to steady her shoulder. When the touch connected Sakura blanched and recoiled from the contact.

Her reaction furthered his perplexed concern. "_What _did he do to you, Sakura?"

"…"

"You can trust me. You know I won't think any less-"

There he went again with his words of condolence, as if she were a petulant and scared child. She slapped away his hand.

"Stop, I'm not a kid!" Venom lined her words, even if her real anger wasn't directed towards him.

"Then debrief me on the situation and your injuries, or I'll do a medical examination myself." Sakura flinched at the threat—how dare he threaten to forcibly examine her body after what she just went through! Who was the _real _medic here?

After a deep exhale, and she reminded herself that Kakashi was only trying to help. He was worried about her, even if it manifested in harsh words. He was scared and he didn't know what happened to her. After all, she forgot to relieve him of the most potent fear.

"He didn't rape me," she told him evenly. Her gaze fixated on a small tear in his flak jacket. "The drug didn't last nearly as long as if was supposed to. He overcame it and immediately guessed that I was behind the drugging. He didn't expect my affiliation with a Hidden Village, though, and he didn't know I was a kunoichi until it was too late. I guess he didn't think women were capable enough."

After the basics, it became harder to speak.

"He still wanted his way and he tried to have it. There was a minor physical assault and I managed to subdue him… only because he was still sluggish from the drug." For a while, Kakashi let her wash in the silence of his serious doubt.

"Sakura, I found you unclothed and covered in blood with Zo incapacitated on the floor next to you. I heard you screaming from the bottom floor..."

"I got him, didn't I?"

"I saw what you did," he replied darkly.

"Great."

"What else happened?"

"You're asking for a lot!" She glared directly into his eyes. Her anger was not matched—nothing but a rare sort of sadness emanated from his expression. "He undressed me, and I couldn't get away. After he _violated _me using penetration he shoved my hand in his pants. That's when I was able to inflict chakra-induced damage to his groin area. How's that for a mission report?" There was no humor in his unflinching stare.

"I am truly sorry I was late, Sakura."

In all honesty, even through her misdirected anger, the last thing she wanted to do was make her Sensei feel guilty. He had always been there for her in the past—and with this one exception that still led in a narrow escape, he fully prepared to blame himself. Sakura shrugged and waved a hand in dismissal.

"I don't think he'll be taking any more girls to bed," she said with a wry smirk. Gingerly, she lowered herself to the ground with the air of a stiff piece of cardboard. The tissue near her spine swelled and made fluidity nearly impossible.

"What's wrong there?" Kakashi asked, sidling around her. If Sakura had eyes on the back of her head, she would have stared him down. The Copy nin shifted to his knees and prepared to examine her back, as if _he _were the medic.

Sakura let him humor her. She would always be the queen of medic skills. "The fracture," she told him. The fracture wasn't the only thing nagging her after this whole ordeal. What agitated her underneath these layers was something psychological; a very persistent curiously that she couldn't rub out of her mind.

The black shirt rose above her waist—and the hands that lifted it were not her own. Sakura jerked, inciting more pain up her sides.

"Sorry. I need to talk a look." Kakashi didn't need the Sharingan to notice the way Sakura reacted to every touch with unpleasant surprise. Her experience with Zo probably lingered in her psyche. Every touch could be his touch.

Her cheeks burned as she clung to the front of the oversized shirt, realizing again that it was Kakashi's. The scent she never knew he had was all over it—a masculine musk. A thumb traced her spine.

"Can I ask you something?" Sakura asked. Although he didn't show it, she knew Kakashi was on guard as if she were about to spring an ANBU pop quiz on last time she posed a similar question, it was a request. A request that would never be spoken of again, he hoped. Nonetheless, he voice was gentle when he granted her permission to ask.

"Why didn't you kiss me?" Her reference to the preparation for the genjutsu was clear.

The thumb hit the fracture. In any usual instance, a chill would rake across her body under that touch. In this instance, the chill was electric. It hurt that electricity might.

"Ah, right there…" she heard him mumble when he placed the spot that caused her so much anguish. "Um, well, it wasn't necessary for the illusion. It's not a very unique sensation." The statement fell on Sakura like a pail of water. After hearing it, she felt damp and miserable.

How could he say her kiss would be just the same as any other? What experience did he have, anyway? Not only did she sddter to think… but she didn't want to know. It grossed her out in a different way. She could hardly believe it, but the thought of some other woman claiming Team 7's precious teacher did not seem compatible with her. If he hardly revealed himself to them, how could he give any part of himself to some other woman?

Sakura refused to believe that the man had a girlfriend, or an ex-girlfriend. Or boyfriend. Sakura refused to believe that the dejected feeling inside her was jealousy. She refused to believe she didn't deserve a kiss after all the other "firsts" she went through that night.

"Oh… Well, I guess they're not so different anyways."

If she kept dropping hints like that, Kakashi was going to feel even worse about that incident which he trusted her to not ever bring up. He had no idea how he would fill out this mission report. Whatever she was thinking… She had to say it, didn't she?

"Will you give me that at least, too?"

The second request was blatant, but not as utterly groundbreaking as the first. She dared to ask him because he dared to deny her the one thing that should have accompanied such a lewd act. After everything, Kakashi owed her that kiss. And she wanted it because he was the one to give it.

Her head tipped forward. She felt a slight touch to the back of her head as Kakashi kissed her there—mask up and lips probably sealed shut. It was such a chaste, guarded sign of forced affection.

Unusual, even for him. But she wasn't satisfied.

"How dare you!" She proclaimed before rounding on the confused man. A blank expression protected him from her emotionally charged rage. "You tell me I'm your equal, but you won't treat me—"

"You're hurt and confused. Just stop," he said shortly.

And he was right. What was she thinking? Demanding a kiss from Kakashi like it was natural and he owed it to her? Sakura felt confused and insatiated. She was sure certain that affections from this man would feel right, but where did she pick up on that feeling in the first place? The pinkette was apologetic, and it showed on her scratched face.

"Kakashi—"

He couldn't let her finish with the un-needed suffix. He pressed a kiss to her mouth in a defying moment. Though the thin layer of a mask was between them, Sakura felt his lips as if the barrier melted. In truth—there was no barrier between them to curb the feeling of mingled shock and warmth that she felt. And he had to be wrong-this didn't feel like any other ordinary kiss. As soon as it began it ended, as if the two accidently bumped heads.

Sakura, wide-eyed, fumbled backwards.

"I'm sorry!" she cried, holding up her hands defensively. "Don't worry! I-It didn't count!" She thrust a finger at his mask.

Kakashi marveled at the convenience of her apology; so the girl thought _she _was the one who clumsily kissed him? She was _that _convinced that he Copy Nin would never oblige her request? He wasn't ready to correct that assumption.

"Let's move," said Kakashi simply as he withdrew from the devious game he played with her. It was wrong and he knew it, but he wouldn't think about it right now. With Kakashi's help, Sakura pulled to her feet. Her body, swaying under gravity, needed support. "I'll go easy."

It was too easy to be there when she tripped so that she fell onto his back. It was too easy to lift her off the ground and make a quick departure. It was too easy to push and pull her feelings with a simple stare, and "accidental" kiss.

He decided that desire could no longer, should no longer matter in the equation of their relationship. Because Sakura once told him that he was the only man who never hurt her, and meant it. Kakashi was in no way ready to knock himself out of the category with selfishness. That would be the last incident.

On his back he could sense it; glowing blue chakra that leaked from her fingertips was hardly enough to heal even the scratches that spread across her cheek.

"Save your chakra," her ex-sensei told her. "I'm checking you into the hospital as soon as we get back."

"You need a check-up, too," Sakura replied quietly, knowing that the jounin's distaste for hospitals exceeded hers a thousand fold. He willfully ignored her comment. Sakura groaned. "The fracture in my back…! Sensei—don't be clumsy." She seemed to either forget her discomfort from the situation or was looking for ways to chastise him and displace her annoyance.

"Sorry, Sakura."

Kakashi sighed. One moment she was asking him for a kiss and the next she gave him the Naruto treatment? Well, he deserved it in every way. He needed to be punished, somehow.

* * *

><p><em>Home… Now that we're back home, are things just going to go back to the way there were? <em>Granted, "back to the way things were" would never really happen with so much distance between each member of team 7, but that's not what she meant.

Did retuning within the Leaf's borders mean also the restoration of the borders between herself and Kakashi? So many barriers between them melted over the course of the mission. Sakura would give anything to prevent them from built up again. With Sasuke missing and Naruto gone, no more people close to her heart could be ripped away until she was lost completely.

_When did I start getting feelings for…_

At Sakura's request, they bypassed the hospital and headed straight for the Hokage's office. Familiar thatched red and brown Konoha rooftops passed below them. Even the clouds slipped behind their speed.

* * *

><p>Tsunade didn't need a knock on the door to inform her of the visitors coming in—not when she could feel that inflammatory chakra before it even entered the building.<p>

"Let them in," the blonde women ordered hurriedly. Shizune, sensing the urgency and worry, hastened to open the door of the office. Sure enough, two retuning Leaf nins entered. A tall, lean man with white hair, and a shorter pink haired kunoichi who looped an arm around his shoulder for support.

"Welcome back, you too." Her voice hardly betrayed the great sense of relief she felt when Sakura entered the door in one piece; she didn't want to seemed too attached to her budding prodigy. "I take it the mission was a success."

"In some ways," Kakashi answered stiffly. On Tsunade's cue he produced a small scroll from his pack and handed it off to a masked nin that stood dutifully by her desk. After receiving the scroll, the ANBU poofed into thin air for clearance.

"Well done, you two."

At their appearance, Tsunade raised a thin eyebrow. "Nice wardrobe, Sakura." Sakura's gaze shot down to her borrowed, oversized shirt-dress with renewed embarrassment.

"It's Kakashi-Sensei's," she admitted weakly without explaining much. Tsunade just lifted both her eyebrows. Under the intimidating stare Sakura hooked a finger in the raised collar of the shirt and pulled it down. She was sweating.

"Sakura! What the hell happened?" Even Kakashi glanced at the pinkette after the outburst. It took her a moment to understand what they stared at; her revealed neck was nearly fully purple with dark marks. There was a ring of them around her throat and six more lining the back of her neck. It was a gruesome embellishment to her light skin.

"Um-!" Should she tell them about the strangling now or later, Sakura wondered. If only she had enough chakra to healed them before coming!

"T-Those aren't _hickeys, _are they?" Tsunade's voice boomed threateningly. For some reason, her eyes were transfixed on Kakashi. The two ninja deadpanned at the determinedly unsubtle insinuation.

Shizune sweat-dropped. Lady Tsunade sure loved making Sakura uncomfortable.

"No, M'Lady, they're not," Sakura said hotly. "They're strangulation marks." A small silence passed between them. Tsunade's stare softened as she looked at her pupil.

"Sakura, go to the hospital. Shizune—escort her. I expect a mission report on my desk by tomorrow. Kakashi, stay."

She noticed the way the Copy nin nodded to his former student, and didn't retract his gaze until she had left the room. Did he feel the same pain as her? It was time to get to the bottom of this.

"Kakashi, what happened at there? I need to know but I don't want to ask Sakura in her current state. Did she… follow through with the mission?" The addressed man shoved his hands in his pockets and answered the question with a tested tone.

"No."

Relief washed over Tsunade's features; Kakashi tried not to think of her as selfish. She assigned her pupil the mission and then claimed relief when Sakura avoided the procedure designated to her? If Kakashi still felt the negative consequences, why did she have the right to avoid them?

As if reading his mind, the Hokage said, "You know I feel as much guilt as you do."

Kakashi doubted it.

"I need you to tell me the truth of the matter so I can make Sakura's taken care of properly." With that order, he could comply.

"I don't know the full extent of it myself. You will have the details in the mission report. But when I found her…" it was a haunting image. "She was unconscious, naked and covered in blood."

Tsunade inhaled sharply and closed her eyes. Instead of consensual, although unwanted, sexual relations, her pupil managed to put up a struggle. It was a struggle she ultimately won as her master had sincerely hoped. She was able to protect her body from the enemy.

"I'm proud of her."

"Me, too."

"And you? Are you alright?" Despite fervent nodding, Tsuande commanded him to go to the hospital anyways. That man would avoid the hospital even if his firstborn baby was about to be birthed (not that Kakashi had that coming in the near future, he hoped). Before he turned to leave, Tsuande issued just one more request.

"Kakashi… Please make sure she's alright. I know this is my doing, but I think she looks up to you, too. She hates me right now, and I'm sorry for it. But please—just once, ask her."

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

A small confirmation let her know Kakashi would do his duty—he was a reliable shinobi. But did Tsuande really have to ask if the jounin would follow up on the health of his student and friend? Such formal requests were unnecessary.

Because no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, all he could think about was the bruising on her neck, the pain in her back, the sound of her voice and the feel of her lips.

* * *

><p>Sakura swung her legs impatiently while sitting on the end of the hospital bed. She was the only inhabitant in the room, but within a few minutes she managed to scare the nurse away.<p>

"Now, it says her I should give you a pelvic exam due to the nature of your mission," the nurse had said after studying her clipboard.

"I don't need it," Sakura stated.

"Did you have sexual intercourse?"

"No! Just go away, please, I need rest!" The nurse had frowned when she realized she was faced with a patient in denial and a stubborn medic.

"Please—let me just heal your bruises." She managed that at least that before being booted out of the room. Sakura always preferred to heal herself, and to accomplish that she had to rest enough to replenish her chakra.

When the nurse finally left, Sakura felt more alone than anticipated. She should have let her give her a check-up. She leaned back with two hands planted on the bed and stared miserably into the wall.

When the doorknob turned and emitted a soft click, irritation bubbled in her.

"I thought I said-!"

It wasn't the nurse: A silver haired man slipped through the narrow entrance, wincing at her tone. Her words faltered into dumbfounded silence.

"You were saying?" Abashed she quickly looked away. She was only in a flimsy hospital gown—but the man saw her in less anyways. Much less. Now that they were back home and the bent rules of the mission didn't apply, she felt awkward.

"Not you, Sensei. What are you doing here?" He sighed and walked to her side. First he noticed the bruising on her neck had cleared up nicely. He wondered with real concern whether the rest of her was healed as well.

"Checking up on my favorite student," he told her leniently.

"Funny. I thought I wasn't your student anymore." He smiled at her.

"You still call me "Sensei"," Kakashi pointed out. "I'm glad you're recovering." Sakura heard the sincerity in his voice and fought the sudden urge to close the distance between them. He reached out a hand, and for a second Sakura wasn't sure what he would do with it. She realized he was talking about her neck. His hand gravitated towards it until his fingertips rested on a point below her ear.

She tensed under his touch.

"You wouldn't want Naruto to get the wrong idea," he said softly. Her heart beat accelerated to a rapid pace, and butterflies squirmed inhere stomach. The possibility that Kakashi could feel the way her pulse quickenbeneath his fingers sent her into a panic. If she hadn't sorted out her own feelings and reactions towards the jounin, then she certainly did not want him to acquire suspicions of his own!

Sakura brought her own hand up and laid it over his. It rested on top of his gloved hand for a moment before she swiveled from the hospital bed.

"Sensei—did you get a check up? I bet you disobeyed Lady Tsunade's orders! You never get a check-up when you're supposed to!" She had to intercept his touch to regain control over her own reactions. Somehow Sakura managed to shove and bully the unsuspecting Jonin into taking her place on the edge of the bed. Even though it looked like he escaped without a scratch, Sakura insisted on healing his minor wounds.

She always did this after he returned from a mission; even if they hadn't seen each other in weeks, Sakura and his hospital bed formed a committed marriage. Kakashi never complained when she purposely sought him out; it was somewhat endearing that she missed his company. Even if her post-care instructions were super bossy.

"I'm not really hurt," Kakashi lamented at her unwavering insistence. She held up one finger and proved him wrong.

"Your eye was bleeding. I'm taking a look," she said. Kakashi's eye was always a sensitive area, one that normally did not allow medics to examine. The permanently borrowed Sharigan inherited quite the temper and maybe contained twice the amount of pain receptors as a normal eye.

Nothing but a scratched up, soft face and pink hair covered his vision while she leaned over, peering at the open Sharigan with one of her own eyes closed. She ordered him to look to the left while she searched for scratches or some source of the blood.

"Weird… I don't see anything wrong."

Kakashi knew it took more than the naked human eye to discover the injuries behind his own eye. He knew Sakura knew this and she wasting her time. She was avoiding the more serious subject of her own injuries—injures he knew she would never willingly confess to him. Personal, deep injuries he could have prevented.

"Sakura, listen to me." Her green gaze slid from focusing on just one of his eyes to both. The distance between them was slim. "I'm sorry for what happened."

Sakura blinked and shrugged at the sudden apology; it wasn't like him to say sorry twice, or be stuck on a subject they had already discussed.

"It was all my own fault. You did everything you could for me," Sakura said weakly. For once, the expression painted in both of his eyes was clear; she could see that Kakashi felt pain.

"I lost Sasuke—" she flinched at the name—" and even Naruto. You're left, and I failed you. I'm sorry."

The distance between them closed. Through the pain, through his guilt and through Kakashi's mask—Sakura didn't hesitate again. She took one hand to his face and brought her face to his in a kiss. Sakura kissed him.

Those feelings were confusing, but Sakura wanted to wait until they were back in the Leaf to confront them. She hoped it would be more clear—the boundaries, the norms. She hoped these things would shake her into once again denying the long standing feelings that bubbled her chest for years.

Now Sakura knew there was a reason she became so elated during those rare times Kakashi showed graced her with his presence, even when it was only during a mandatory hospital stay, or when she caught him at Ichiraku's.

Now Sakura knew there was a reason she felt resentment when he stopped coming around, and she heard he was to test another genin team.

Now she knew she was relieved when he failed another team because she was still special and unique, with her being a ninja as a testament to his opinion of her and her team. She knew why his compliments nearly brought her to tears.

But Sakura didn't know when she had developed feelings for her sensei beyond that of a simple crush.

Kakashi didn't move to reciprocate the gesture. In fact, he was quite stiff even when Sakura slowly broke the kiss by pulling away. Because they were back in Konoha, the stark strangeness of the action seeped in. Sakura had kissed her Sensei.

Sakura and Kakashi-Sensei.

"You can't keep doing that," Kakashi said, shamelessly lumping in the last incident, which he initiated, into her history. Sakura flinched.

What did she expect?

Kakashi lowered his headband to cover his eyes and moved from the bed. As he moved towards the door, he felt that he couldn't just leave his former student empty without any explanation to his reaction. He felt her eyes glued to his back. She wanted that reaction.

"You're confused and hurt. It's not healthy to use the wrong outlets for those feelings—"

"I'm not!" Her voice cried out behind his back. She saw him pause for just a moment before slipping back out of the door, and closing it behind him. Just another barrier Kakashi Hatake drove between himself the people who loved him.

Sakura crumpled to the ground in an episode of self-hate and self-pity. Because Kakashi was infuriating. If she chased Sasuke to the outskirts of the village and begged him to let her accompany him to his path of destruction, Kakashi shouldn't expect to get away scot-free either.

But she couldn't chase after him now; her back was aching horribly.

* * *

><p><strong>So I'm estimating about two chapter left.<strong>

**REVIEW!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Second to last chapter!**

My reviews dwindled a bit, but I can hardly complain since this is wrapping up. I see many people have added this to favorites-I'm flattered. But **please** review as well! I makes me update faster! Super motivating.

I can't believe we are so close to the end. I've never finished a fic so quickly/I hardly finish at all... Long live KakaSaku!

**About this chapter: **I think it may be a bit short. It's because I left a lot out to lump into the super long last chapter! So please bear with me. I know there's a lot of talking and less action in this, please let me know if you think this is a problem. Too much talking can be uncharacteristic, but I tend to do that when wrapping things up. I almost wish I had more time to flesh out what's going on between the pair, but as it is... This is what I have. So please tell me if you enjoy it or not!

Lastly-Ugh, typos. It's always hard to catch them when you've read you're own writing 10 times. Your eyes are just like "Yep, it's fine already, post it." Sorry about those.

Ta da.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

**To Take Back the Color  
><strong>

Extreme déjà vu wasn't usually a pleasant feeling to stick inside a ninja; it usually entailed squaring off against an old enemy one previously presumed dead, or an old beloved teammate nearly succeeding in plunging a kunai into your soul. It was always the bad incidents that fate drudged up and threw back in a ninja's face.

So this same feeling arose when Sakura heard someone rapping at the window sill.

"Yo."

Sakura whirled around stiffly in her newly clean apartment. Déjà vu swept her thoughts, especially when she heard that voice and phrase. So… did he come to torture her over that embarrassing moment at the hospital, when he coolly rejected her feelings?

"Come in," Sakura relented, even though she was still in an acidic mood. A certain silver-haired jounin popped through the window. In the middle of her living area, he stood tall and unreadable. There were papers in his hands.

"We should talk about the mission," Kakashi said. Sakura made a sour face from her small kitchenette.

"What more is there to discuss?" Despite her attempts to be stand-offish, she inadvertently pulled a second tea cup from the cabinet as she brewed the hot liquid in the kettle. Somewhere roving in the back of her mind, she knew Kakashi wouldn't drink it anyways.

"The mission report."

Sakura was the one to sigh, this time. It was clear the jounin only came to make sure their reports matched up. Chances were, her report would have gaping holes and his would have detailed information like a professional report should. Then he would berate her for her lack of honestly.

She disappeared into her bedroom and came back with a similar stack of forms. Kakashi was already sitting on one of her sofas, so she took her seat on the opposite side of the coffee table.

"Why do you want to match up mission reports, Sensei?" She asked, suspecting his intentions. He was happy to supply her with a well thought of defense:

"Consistency. If the information and accounts of events don't match up in our reports, it's not going to look good." Sakura glanced at him, skeptical. It was already odd enough that he showed up here after scolding her from making a move on him; maybe he really did think she was harmlessly confused.

"Yet comparing reports is supposed to be against the rules," she mumbled under her breath. He took her report, and in kind slid his across the table to be fair. Sakura took a deep breath before scanning the Copy Nin's account of the mission. Undeniably she skipped right over the boring beginning and delved into his account of the sensitive stuff.

Her thin, pink eye brow twitched. He didn't even include her special preparation to prime his genjutsu, but at least mentioned the resolve to use it.

_Due to extenuating circumstances, it was determined to instead use a high level genjutsu on the target for distraction._

Could he be any more vague! Her eyes skimmed down the part about the scroll. It appeared he broke in the compound effortlessly and only ran into trouble on the way back.

_Haruno's screams prompted me to return to the enemy's bedroom on the upper level. A subordinate known as Akito (ninjutsu type; jounin) interceded and caused considerable delay (approx. 20h30). Haruno sounded to be suffering—_

Sakura closed her eyes for a brief moment to contemplate; as horrible as it was for her, it must have been a burden on Kakashi, too. He could hear her wail and do nothing to protect her. Sakura personally knew the despair in standing by helplessly watching a teammate get hurt.

She skipped over his fight with Akito, since the outcome was obvious. Sakura was more interested in the parts she couldn't see—like when Kakashi arrived.

_Upon arrival two bodies were identified on the floor. Rikchi Zo was unconscious on the floor; I inferred Haruno was able to subdue him after overcoming the effects of the sedative. _

_ I found Haruno on the floor. Signs of struggle were evident. She was stripped completely with deep (bite) wounds on her breasts and scratches covering her body—_for some reason, his handwriting here was scribbled more messily and pressed darkly onto the paper—_At the same time blood covered her thighs. I suspected a sexual assault and recommend Haruno for evaluation._

Bastard.

_I cleaned excess blood from her wounds and covered her in available clothing. To ensure Zo did not follow our trail, I decapitated one of his legs. _At this point, Sakura blanched. She knew that _he _knew that Zo would not have been able to follow them, with two legs let alone one! That move seemed like a cover-up for a hasty emotional reaction. She almost smirked and peered slyly at the man who wrote the report.

As if the mask that extended above the bridge of his straight nose was enough, his expression was still utterly unreadable- but she could see one dark eye scan the page. There really weren't discrepancies the report; even Sakura omitted the "special preparations". But his eyes were far too hungry when scanning her description. His pale fingers that peeked out from his standard mental-plated gloves pressed the paper together very tightly. It finally dawned on her.

Sakura shot out a hand to take back the paper.

_He's just being nosy! He wants to know what really happened to me! _She raged inwardly as he easily moved back to avoid her snatching hands. There was no way for sure to know if that was true, but Kakashi did seemed absorbed in the report. Is that why he came here? She remembered vividly what she wrote:

_I restrained from calling for help to give away our identities. Struggle was futile as I was dragged back into the room. Zo was still weary from the sedative. I couldn't move due to a fracture in my back when he flicked me against the wall._

_ Zo seemed especially angered when pulling me down—_she left out the part about spitting in his face. _He undressed me—nothing I did had an effect on him. He bit my chest to torture me as a punishment for my lack of cooperation. He then…_

She couldn't really know how to word it formally.

_-penetrated me with his fingers. After five more minutes he took my hand and guided it to his parts. Being in a position where Zo was vulnerable and ignorant of my skills, I was able to exert my remaining chakra into my hand to—_

Sakura _stared _at Kakashi's hands. She couldn't believe her eyes—was her head shaking? No, it was definitely the Copy nin's gloved hands that were _trembling. _She had never seen the cool, collected and detached Kakashi tremble for any reason, not even anger. She tore her eyes from the perplexing episode when the placed the papers down on the table with an audible "slap".

"So it lines up," Sakura muttered, averting her gaze.

"You could have called for help." She looked up, astounded. Why was there accusation in his voice?

"Excuse me?"

His dark eye looked borderline angry. The Copy ninja stood up, tall frame towering over her. The light that emanated through her window made his white hair even more luminous in contrast with the dark shinobi garments that made him look so intimidating.

"The one thing I hoped I ever taught you was team work," he said coldly.

"Damn it, Kakashi-sensei! I'm fine! You can't disapprove of me for doing my job! It's not your damned fault!" She only noticed after shouting at him that she rose to her feet, too. She was panting.

Who knew that when stubborn wills clashed, her words had the power to force the anger left his eyes? They had both expressed their frustration, but Kakashi knew the danger of the situation. At least one of them had to maintain control, and being the older and more mature of the two—Sakura could see him try to claim that responsibility. It was over.

Sakura fell limply back to her seat. "Sensei, can I ask you something?"

_ Not more questions._

"I thought you weren't a genin anymore," he replied.

"_Kakashi_, can I ask you something?" His broad shoulders sagged slightly with reluctance.

"Sure."

"When you first tried to pull me from the mission, and I asked you why… you said you were fond of the color of my hair. What did you mean?" A lengthy stretch of silence passed between them. The air was growing chilly. She didn't know if he was trying to remember, making up an answer, or just unwilling to elaborate on moment that happened so long ago.

Although he was really turned to the side, Kakashi stepped to face her. His eyes were somewhere far away, though.

What is he thinking of? Sakura wondered.

"You said you're taking the Jounin exams and going on the ANBU track." She nodded expectantly, finally capturing his attention. "I've seen so many kunoichi, and even many shinobi go on missions like these. Whether it's that or something else, they all come back and they aren't quite the same."

"What do you mean?"

"They're pale and dull. Something fades. Something inside you is dead and takes back the color from your eyes and hair." As he said this, green eyes traveled to his own white spray of hair. Sakura was pretty sure it had always been that color, although sometimes on bad, rainy days it looked more grey. And that was significant, considering his young age. She noticed when he spoke, it sounded like he spoke from experience.

"Naruto always thought you had an unusual hair color that made you distinctly Sakura, no? I didn't want you to come back and find that you had lost that."

She plastered silly smile was painted on her face because she wanted to ensure him that nothing would change, even though it would. And it did. "I can't be the old Sakura without changing a little."

It was oddly touching for him to admit that he cared about her, though it was hidden in his words and analogies. Sakura drew in a patient breath, wondering why he always denied her the affection she sometimes pined for. When she spoke those last words, she drew up close to him. She thought something was getting through, and was tentative about breaking down the wall he thrust up around him.

If only she possessed a Chidori or Rasengan, Sakura thought; that's the kind of power it would take to ram down this man's line of defense. Yet he would probably just see it coming with the Sharingan.

Kakashi moved back.

She was surprised when literally put more physical distance in between them. An outsider might have thought the move was comical, the way she continued to test the boundaries and push forward while Kakashi conspicuously matched her movements with an inverse step in the opposite direction.

At last, he merely sidled around her to gather up his report and return a tea cup, sloshing with undrunk liquid, back to her kitchen sink.

Tension seized every part of her body.

"Amazing… you still think I'm just a girl. If I'm so weak and immature, why are you even here?" When she turned around to glare, Kakashi wasn't looking back. He seemed unmoved by her words, as always. She would do anything to rip off his mark and see the emotionless beast she was dealing with. She wanted to ram a kunai into his side just to see a reaction on his face.

"When did I say that? I never even hinted that, yet you stick to the same subject."

"You _invalidate _me, Sensei." He rejected her. "You always thought I was weak, even when I was becoming a chunin. Admit it!" This foreign anger, as vicious as a tailed beast, raged inside her being.

Why the hell was he so stubborn, and why the hell were these feelings so strong? Even if they were a semi-product at the post-trauma from the mission, or the unexpected emotion that came from Kakashi rejecting her several times, or anger and betrayal towards the man himself, she wanted him to just yell back. How long would he tolerate this and treat her as if she were a child who could get away with a lashing tongue? When would he give her explanation?

"And what would make you think that?" The semi-rational and calm voice pissed her the hell off.

"You keep rejecting me."

"You're my student."

"Yeah. and you never paid attention, did you? You gave Naruto and Sasuke everything and you ignored me!" There was something pitifully desperate and broken and angry in her voice. Even if it wasn't entirely true until Sasuke left, a fervent though entered Kakashi's mind.

_And look how Sasuke turned out, _he thought. Which all the more proved his silent point.

"You were never hard on me!" She felt him shutting down, tuning out her ranting. He looked on the verge of leaving, which was sad because Kakashi usually fixed the problems he created. Even his hand inched towards his chest, preparing to make a seal for teleportation.

Then she added, "Except that time you were drunk and drugged in the village." The evil insinuation lined her voice, purposely.

It said, _You said it then. Why not now?_

And she was sure he understood the entendre. If she were hoping for his tongue-biting scolding, Sakura would be disappointed. He hardly blinked. Although cruel, she had a point in bringing up the conveniently forgotten incident.

She marched up to him, daring him to conjure up some sort of explanation or excuse. She was so close now that he could reach out and touch her.

And then he did. His hand returned to the place on her neck he was so fascinated with—the milky white spot where the bruises use to be.

He touched her softly, but she flinched as if someone had pinched her. She remembered Zo's touch. Kakashi withdrew sharply from her reaction.

"I hope you'll understand," he said.

"I _don't_ understand."

" I'd stay and talk more, but I have a report to turn in."

The smoke clouded her kitchen puffed around her hands. He was gone. Sakura's record now stood at two losses and zero wins. A silly thought touched her mind.

* * *

><p>I know this is getting a bit repetitive, but wait till the next and last chapter!<p>

And for some reason, my chapter titles always suck :(

**REVIEW!**


	12. Chapter 12

I know it's really late, but I was on break for a month and didn't have internet access. Now I do, so enjoy and sorry for the aggravating wait!

Oh man... the last chapter! Crazy, I actually finished! Thanks to ALL of you for reading! Skip the next part if you want:

I realized after reading many other Kakasaku's that this fic really isn't that good, and I apologize for that. It's a bit cliche (not entirely my fault) and it could have been "deeper". It's entertaining, but I could have done better.

* * *

><p><strong>Some Bet<strong>

_"I hope you'll understand," he said._

_"I _don't _understand."_

_"I'd stay and talk more, but I have a report to turn in."_

_The smoke clouded her kitchen puffed around her hands. He was gone. Sakura's record now stood at two losses and zero wins. A silly thought touched her mind._

How could Gai-Sensei keep up this guy?

* * *

><p>It was no great surprise when Sakura was summoned to the Hokage's office once again; these trips were becoming something she really dreaded. On her way to the tower, she scanned the streets for any signs of a particular man. The spirit inside of her was already drowning in an irritable pool of misery after her last encounter with…<p>

She sighed. At least she was clean—clean enough for her Master to not question her injuries. She wore her regular red vest, black shorts and pink skirt. She hoped Tsunade would see that she was ready to get back to the hospital and start working. All she needed was some ruptured organs and injured shinobi to take her mind off of the lesser drama in life.

When Sakura stepped in, it was Shizune who let her in. Fixing her with a fleeting smile, Shizune actually left through the door as Sakura entered.

_This must be bad, _Sakura thought dismally. But how could it get any worse? The door clicked shut behind her, sealing her in with the scary blonde woman known as Sakura's master.

"Good morning, shishou," Sakura mumbled rigidly. Tsunade looked to be in far better spirits than she did the previous day. The morning light reflected against her magically youthful skin. Her light brown eyes shined at seeing her pink haired apprentice. She softened.

"Sakura, I see that you checked into the hospital yesterday like I asked. Everything is healed?"

"Yes," Sakura confirmed, wondering why Tsunade had summoned her when she already turned in her mission report.

"I'm glad. I guess you're wondering why I summoned you here…" Sakura blinked and the female Hokage propped her face on one hand. For a moment she looked reluctant—with a cynical and stubborn edge shown by a crease between her eyes. It was the same look Sakura remembered on Tsunade's face every time she had to admit she was wrong.

"I wanted to apologize, Sakura. I know that mission was rough, but I also knew you could handle it. When you announced your intentions to take the Jounin exams and also go on the ANBU track, I had to test you."

This sparked an interest. "What do you mean?" asked Sakura.

"Sometimes, especially in these exams, you are put in scenarios similar to that of your mission. When kunoichi, and even shinobi, aren't prepared, things don't go down well. And after all the work, they fail."

"Ah…" Sakura lowered her head, a little resistant in believing that Tsunade really had her best interests in mind.

"When it happened to me, I didn't take it well. That's why I wanted to prepare you." Sakura snapped her head up in disbelief.

_Master Tsunade had to do… that? _A small chuckle escaped the blonde woman's lips at her naïve apprentice's surprised stare.

"Anyways, Sakura. I also wanted to say I'm proud of you. I was worried, but I knew you would find a way around it. By _not _giving your body to the enemy, you won. Your body is a precious asset to yourself, don't forget that—"

"But M'Lady didn't you say-!"

"Read between the lines, girl." Sakura could have fainted from exasperation from Tsunade's hypocritical, conflicting messages. Either way, a better feeling filled Sakura up to the brim. Tsunade assigned her the mission because she knew she could handle it.

Even though that didn't erase the hurt and trauma her body experienced, it made Sakura hardy. She liked the feeling.

"So you do forgive me?"

"Yes, shishou." Despite herself, she was smiling. The morning light beaming through the windows offered the promise of a better day to Sakura. It beckoned her to leave the office and take it easy. The sun was visible now even though the forecast said that the clouds would soon hail rain.

Sakura waited to be dismissed, but Tsunade seemed to be conjuring up one more message to deliver to her apprentice.

"Oh, Sakura. There's one more thing I should tell you." Her voice sounded more firm and official. There were a stack of papers in her hand that she tapped against the desk. Her eyes seemed to skim them briefly and she made a mark on the parchment with a red quill. "Hatake Kakashi has requested that you no longer are assigned to any of the same missions as him. You've been taken off his roster."

_What? _Every piece of warm sunshine she felt earlier liquidated in her body and spilled out. An icy cold sensation clutched her being and turned her face to stone. Something ominous simmered under the surface of her skin.

Sakura was dumbfounded. "W-Why? Why would he do that?" Tsunade's jaw was set.

"He said it was because during the mission, certain feelings developed. He said he had feelings for you that would complicate your relationship and endanger the completion future missions. It appears that he wants to distance himself from you."

Sakura's jaw dropped. Kakashi _told _Tsunade that? He went as far as to publically seek help avoiding her, but he would never admit that "certain" feelings _had _developed between them to _her? _So that mission was the catalyst and he was afraid it would happened again?

"I'm telling you this because I think Kakashi is being wrong," Tsunade said evenly. Sakura was shocked and pleased at how her master addressed the situation. She knew her student well.

_That coward… _Sakura thought.

"Thank you for telling me this, shishou." A shadow fell over Sakura's face and she turned her back to the windows. A sharp popping sound dotted the air as Sakura cracked her knuckles.

"And Sakura? Go easy on him."

_There's a lot of history behind his decision, _Tsunade thought with a frown. She felt like she was watching a sad, dramatic movie unfold before her eyes. She wanted to warn the heroine of the dark path in which she embarked, but she was only talking to the screen. The heroine of this tale couldn't hear her. The proof was in Sakura's reply.

"No chance in hell," the female medic nin stated and headed towards the door.

* * *

><p>He hadn't expected a near explosion when the door barged open, dangerously close to swiveling off its rusted hinges, and an angry smudge of pink rocked through the doorway.<p>

"Why the hell did you request to not take up anymore missions with me?" Sakura snapped, voice slightly hoarse from the cold and rainy weather. That in no way diminished the rage that poured out of her mouth.

Kakashi would have prepared if he suspected Hurricane Haruno hurled his way. She caught him in the act of leaning against his counter, about to sip a very somber cup of tea. Other than that nothing else stood out on his agenda. He didn't bother to hide his slightly fearful reaction to her entrance, even though he knew she would be angry if she ever found out what he had done.

"Did you hear me? Why did you specifically exclude me from your mission roster?" Sakura entered Kakashi's apartment even further without permission. He blinked at her. It really was an intrusion, and he looked completely unarmed without his headband and his flak jacket. She didn't care.

When her voice faltered, only the drizzling of rain against the window sills drummed their ears. For a quick second she peered around the bare place—she had never been to Kakashi's apartment before, and was just lucky enough to remember where he lived. It was a shame this ass-kicking would have to take place during her first visit.

Why didn't he answer her?

"I barely see you on any regular day. Do you know how much that hurts?" she asked, the evidence of the upset beginning to line her voice. Kakashi set down his cup and stood still. Maybe he was waiting for her anger to flush out, but that wouldn't happen. She didn't care that even slouched down he was overbearingly taller than her, and broad-shouldered and stronger. He _deserved_ this lashing.

"I think it's for the best," he said quietly. Kakashi averted his gaze under those half-closed eyelids. She thrust a finger in his direction as if he had made an excuse for being late again.

"Liar! Lady Tsunade _told _me you requested to not have any more missions with me! She said it was because you didn't want to complicate things. Because during the mission i-it must have made you realize. You don't want to see me anymore because you have feelings for me, Sensei! Why can't you just admit that…"

Oh. He hadn't expected Tsunade to openly tell her about his request, let alone that last part about feelings. Such a breach of unasked for confidentiality would have someone like Shikamaru shaking his head and muttering curses about how "troublesome" this new Hokage proved to be. She noticed him take a step forward and eye her sharply, such a contrast from his previously careless stare. Some silver hair fell over his forehead and brushed his white eyebrows. He held out his hands in an open gesture.

"Is that what you wanted to hear, Sakura? Over the course of these last years I developed feelings for my _student_? That last mission nearly jeopardized what there is left of Team 7," Kakashi said.

Her body was paralyzed under his words and the tart confession. In the enactment in her head, Kakashi never admitted to anything. Now the scene broke free from her expectations and control. But like Kakashi said, what did she expect?

"It didn't. Obviously whatever this is existed beforehand," Sakura replied coolly, matching his glare and throwing out a hand to physically signify "this". She took in all of him; he looked tired and weary and done with dealing with the turmoil she doused him in. The adrenaline entering his blood must have roused a fighting instinct within him too, since he cracked his Sharingan open to a slit as if was dying to be unveiled. Was he trying to read her? Well, that was too bad.

"You don't know what you're talking about, or what you're trying to take on," he said flatly. A bold insult to her ego. Sakura winced, but didn't back down.

"If these feelings exist—don't pretend they don't—then give me a reason why we shouldn't see each other anymore! Why ignore this?"

First and foremost: "You're my student."

"I _was._"

And then the inevitable: "Age."

"Doesn't mean anything in this village."

The last reason: "You're asking to be hurt."

"Don't pull that! Why are you trying…" her voice broke a little when she saw how hard he was trying to put her off, "-to abandon me?"

The cup he gripped again in his hand cracked. It was an audible crack that clued Sakura in to the tension in the jounin's seemingly slack posture.

When he spoke, his tone was low and dangerous. "Everyone who I loved, everyone who is close to me is dead or gone, Sakura. It's only a matter of time before I am, too. What do you expect? I refuse to put you in that position. You _will _get hurt. Even as a friend, you could slip away at any time. _Everyone _who loved me is dead. Do you want to be next? You won't be."

Did he believe himself to be cursed, or something? Did he hold himself responsible for fate's playing cards? She pondered those words.

Thunder boomed outdoors, and nature added an ominous threat to this words. But Sakura shook her head. Her hand was clutching the material of her red vest, trying to quit shaking and keep still. She protested with all of her will of fire.

"Naruto's alive. Sasuke's alive, somewhere. _I'm _alive, Kakashi Sensei."

Without further words he strode over to the lone sofa in the room and sank into it. One hand pushed through his mess of silvery white hair.

_"When _did this happen… " she heard him utter, stress and pain evident in his eyes. It was clear to Sakura. It was clear that he was distressed and preoccupied with losing more people he loved. Behind his revealed eyes, red and black, ghosts of the past swam around and haunted him. It wasn't fair to him. And it wasn't fair to those who loved him.

From the opposite end of the room, she spoke with bitter nostalgia lining her voice. No matter how quietly and weakly she spoke, she would make him hear her words. Because he needed the answer that that question.

"You know… It started as a crush. When I was a genin I was infatuated with Sasuke, of course, but I always thought… what a cool teacher I had." A lopsided, sad smirk graced her lips. "When everyone left, that's when I realized there was something more there. Always looking out for me, dependable, like family but not… My Sensei started entering my thoughts more, but I was confused. I knew you would never reciprocate, because I was just a girl. I pushed it to the back of my mind to further my training. Because I didn't want you to think I was weak anymore, when you were such a strong person in _my _eyes. I wanted to mirror that. And when you stopped coming around, it made my feelings stronger because I felt like something was _missing. _And I finally realized it wasn't Sasuke."

"Forget the mission. This has been going on long enough. If I nearly chased Sasuke out of the village, what makes you think I'll give up you? Kakashi-Sensei?"

There were gentle tears swimming in her eyes.

"You're asking me to let you be hurt. If it's not now, it will be later. What kind of teacher would I be then?" His voice was rough.

"You used to know me so well. Why don't you look in my eyes?" He didn't. "You know I'm like Naruto, right? Why don't you believe in me like you believe in him. You can tell… I'll make that sacrifice. I'm asking you do to the same. Just one more time."

Kakashi was unresponsive.

"Kakashi... Sensei. I lov—"

In a startling crash her back was slammed against the wall. She was jarred and winded. A hand was pressed tightly against her mouth. When Sakura opened her eyes and shook away the dizziness, she saw the Copy Nin bearing over her. It was him who pinned her there, and in no gentle way. His hand seized her wrist steady and the other was still clamped over her mouth. She couldn't see his eyes because their bodies were so close. She only saw the masked, lower part of his face and the outline of his lips moved to say,

"Sakura. _Don't."_

She wedged her free hand between them, grasped his wrist, and removed it from her mouth.

"I love you," she told him directly.

The black fabric that colored her vision was yanked down and the color of light, rich skin replaced it. She only had a millisecond to stare at the strong, bare chin when Kakashi suddenly crushed his lips to hers.

She didn't flinch, she didn't wince—nothing but the present filled her mind. The profession of those words were the battering ram that busted through the supposedly indestructible wall of Kakashi Hatake.

Sakura's eyes were wide open, suspended in surprise. She only closed them to push back into his soft lips with her own. Everything felt amazing, enveloping her. The essence of Kakashi enveloped her. She could palce both of her bare palms on the sides of his smooth bare face, and feel his wild hair tickle the backs of her hand. She remembered that Kakashi smell that filled her nose when she borrowed his shirt after the mission. Now, there was Kakashi all over her.

Even though she didn't want this feeling to leave, Sakura had to push him back. After years and years, she could slide another victory under her weapon holster. She burst out in a grin, looking at his unmasked face.

A small smirk graced his perfect lips. His nose was straight and his jaw line was defined and masculine, if not a bit narrow. Every part of his face was perfectly fitting underneath his dark eyes and light hair that had always been hers to see.

As expected Kakashi Hatake was on the handsome side. What pleased her even more was that he was a bit plain—just like any other human. Yes, he was human. A young, handsome, fit, hot—

Her lips and body were pressed against his already. Hatake lifted her up from the wall and started towards his couch, careful not to break the kiss which was deepening into something more impassioned and feral.

She crashed down into his couch with him on top, pressing her body into the cushions. She wanted him to increase that pressure the same way she pressed back against him and his lips. She was melting into the heat of this moment. Sakura knew that the thrill of this could never be replicated in any other way by any other person-because it was not only forbidden, but was overdue. She felt bare hands run up her sides and-

Kakashi withdrew, both eye opens, staring at the pink haired girl. Sakura smiled.

"Why did you stop, _sensei?" _she asked. Her voice was goading because he had given up and she won, but her breathlessness told him he was in control. She could see it in his softening expression that there was no going back, so she hoped. It was gratifying to be able to see the small smile twitch at the corner of his lips instead of resting on a creased eye. Purging the moment of silence, howling wing banged on the Copy Nin's apartment window. The incessant rain transformed into an all-out storm.

"I'm guessing you don't want to talk home in this weather?" he asked lightly. The smile slipped off of her face.

"What?"

"You can stay here tonight." She beamed. "On the couch."

He withdrew from her and retrieved another tea cup from the kitchen, not even bothering to pull up his mask. Sakura, however, was still shaking in anticipation. The Jounin set tea on the table next to her. And Sakura waited, slightly fearful, for his next move; because the damn man was always pulling away what she worked so hard to gain! That, and she was entirely prepared for whatever could happen next.

With a _swoosh _a blanket fell on top of the kunoichi, who yanked it off to glare. When the blanket uncovered her eyes, he was no longer at the head of the room.

Kakashi was crouching beside her.

"You're so stubborn, Sakura. Despite what you say, you need time to think. How early in the morning do you think I wake up?"

"What? You probably sleep in and keep everyone waiting!"

"Alright then. If you're still here when I wake up, I'll know there's no detering you." She blinked. Was that it?"

"Kakashi-Sen-" Before she could finished the forbidden suffix he pressed a finger to her mouth. She snagged it away. "Kakashi... Goodnight."

He smiled and she stole another kiss, laughing at the surprise etched on his features. It still felt pleasantly strange. Butterflies raged on the inside of her stomach when he smiled back and at last pulled his mask up; yes, it was indeed Kakashi Hatake and the moments that preceeded hadn't been a dream. She clung to that thought when he disappeared into the door of his bedroom.

Sakura Haruno yawned, hardly believing that she was finally being rewarded for her knuckle-headed persistence. So Kakashi wanted to see if she would be there when he woke up? He could shut her out now, but when the Copy Nin awoke she would make sure she was sleeping right next to him: for she found comfort in his presence all along, and would teach him to do the same.

* * *

><p>Buried under paperwork and accompanied by Shizune and a grand bottle of sake in her office, Tsunade had a rare smile stuck on the corner of her lips. This did not go unnoticed by her assistant, who insisted on the Hokage telling her why she was so amused. Shizune knew it had to do with the exchange between the blonde and Sakura that happened an hour prior.<p>

"It's not often I'm pleased with myself like this, but it's just funny," Tsunade quipped. "You heard me tell Sakura about what Kakashi said, right? About removing her from the roster?" Shizune frowned. She handn't found the news funny at all, if not worrisome. She could tell Sakura had been hurt.

"Yes, that silly man. Is it supposed to be funny?"

"Well, I didn't tell Sakura the whole truth," her superior said in a smile, and continued scribbling on her paperwork as if she hadn't just admitted to lying about something serious.

"My Lady! What do you mean!" The darked haired woman made a mental note to be present for more meetings Tsunade held with people. Who else would keep track of her shaky words?

"Kakashi did come in earlier. He requested to have her removed from his roster after the mission," said Tsunade firmly.

"So what's the big deal?" If her assistant only knew...

"Oh, jeesh. You've been around that man. All those things about having feelings for her and distancing himself… Does that sound like something Hatake Kakashi would say to me? Well, let's just say that part I said to Sakura was an inference…"

Shizune trembled under the implication. "W-What? Are you saying… he never said that?"

"Not out-right," Tsunade said, then gave up the act under Shizune's incredulous stare. "Oh, please. He'd never come out and say it himself. So I just read in between the lines for Sakura. It was a favor"

"Shishou!" She didn't really have other words for how wrong her Master's actions were. Yet her sentiments may have been dead-on: It was one twisted situation. After the shock faded, she too realized she was smiling. It wasn't long before Shizune collapsed into giggles.

* * *

><p>A gaping void in the hearts of both the villagers and the village itself returned today, as rumor had it. Such rumors spilled across the village and added a burst of yellow to an already sunny day. Sakura though she was the first to bound towards Konoha's gates, but as it turned out to her utter disappointment, Sai had beat her to it.<p>

She spent almost ten minutes greeting, hugging and ranting over the blonde boy who finally returned to the Leaf after an extended period of training.

"I missed you too, Sakura," he beamed back. However, she never said she missed him to begin with. She was more pissed about the pale, dark haired boy that hovered next to him. Naruto and Sai had been hanging out for a full _hour _before anyone came to get her!

"Yo, Naruto. Welcome back," called a voice from behind her. Sakura's whole body tensed, as if usually did when she heard _his _voice. Even after a month, her and Kakashi's relationship, which was a strong word as this point, was still being worked out. But—it was only climbing in a positive direction.

Although, the part that worried Sakura was that not many people knew about the "thing" she had going on with her Sensei (whatever that thing really was!). Kakashi himself seemed to care less about what other's thought, the opposite of what she expected at first.

And the one person who might turn Konoha on its head if he knew was Naruto. So Kakashi's voice mixed with Naruto upon his return filled her up with a little apprehension.

But there's no way he would figure it out anyways, right?

"Oh hey! Kakashi-Sensei! When are we going to spar?" She shook her head. It was a wonder that Naruto hadn't dived straight into Ichiraku's first before challenging the Jounin to some combat straight away.

"I though you would want to rest." Now, the voice was beside her. White hair tickled the corner of her peripheries. Sakura knew if she even glanced at him, she would start to blush.

Naruto broke out in a grin. "This is great. What a reunion, eh?" Sai surged forward, his eyes narrowed in a practiced, but real, smile.

"Hey, Naruto. The sight of Sakura and Kakashi-senpai should remind you about our bet. I would be breaking the rules if I didn't remind you about the stakes to our bet." Naruto's toothy grin dropped in moment faster instant than ramen. The groan that followed was not from his belly.

Out whipped a green little froggy change purse.

Sakura narrowed her eyes.

"A bet?" Since when did Sai make bets? "What are you guys doing?" she asked suspiciously as Naruto dumped his full stash of money into Sai's open hand. Sai likely didn't want the money or bragging rights—but was probably adhering to the rules of betting as he knew it. And if Sakura knew the pair, Naruto must have been the one who initiated it.

"Heh heh, well Sakura-chan, me and Sai made a small bet about Kakashi-sensei before I left the village to train."

"And I won," Sai supplemented. "Thanks to you, Sakura." The pink haired medic cocked her head. Beside her Kakashi narrowed his visible eyes, turning his gaze towards her, then the others.

He suspected that the bet had something to do with his face under his mask. Kakashi cast a half-betrayed, half-stern look in Sakura's direction. Being the only current member of Team 7 who had seen his face, she would have been the one to tell them he didn't look like a mutant or a freak. It was too bad, because he rather liked that kind of mystery.

"Well, what did you find out?" he asked plaintitively, but even Sakura seemed curious. Curious, and annoyed that the devious way Naruto was snickering like a kid.

"See, see, well I bet that you and Kakashi-sensei would be together after you made joinin, Sakura!"

"WHAT?" She twitched maddenly, not daring to glance up at Kakashi's expression. "W-What in the world would give you that idea? N-no wonder Sai won the bet you baka!" Sai smiled shallowly.

"Yes, I bet that Sakura-chan and Kakashi-senpai would already "be together" by the time Naruto got back from training. That is to say, become involved in a romantic relationship"

Her weak knee gave out and somehow she ended up on the ground, shivering. Naruto was clutching his sides in laughter and Sai simply smiled at the remaining victim of the bet.

"Uh, Naruto, would you mind telling us why you seem to think Sai won the bet?" Kakashi asked. His expression appeared mute of any giveaway emotion, but to the trained blue eye Naruto could tell he must be boiling on the inside.

"Sai told me. I believe him."

"The entire village knows. It was more or less a bet on how long it would take. I've studied non-verbal behavior in many books, and it made sense to me that it was obvious, although I can't speak for a more simple minded thinker like Naruto." Kakashi scratched the back of his head, wondering what words to force out of his dry mouth.

"The whole village…?"

Sakura arose, still a little wobbly.

The whole time, everyone forecasted their eventual "thing" but them.

"To Ichiraku's!" Naruto cried, secretly planning to make Sai pay for his meal. Dropping the conversation in an uncharacteristically non-chalant manner, Naruto grabbed Sai's shoulder and began to haul them off. "Meet you there, Sakura!"

She was still frozen stiff.

"Are you alright?" Kakashi asked. She felt a hand wander to the small of her back, sending warm shivers up and down her spine.

"They… bet on me. They bet on my love." Apparently, some things ran deeper than the satisfaction of Naruto's approval of her unorthodox relationship.

"Some bet," the silver-haired man agreed. Kakashi slipped a lazy arm around Sakura's shoulders, and they followed in the friends' wake.

* * *

><p><strong>fin! <strong>It wasn't my best chapter, but it was the last chapter. Thanks for following along with me.

**DON'T GO YET. I HAVE ONE LAST THING FOR YOU.** I'm writing another KakaSaku and it's different; if you're interested it's posted and it's called **Reactance.**

http :/ www . fanfiction . net/s/7753052/1 /Reactance#

3


End file.
